


Black Snow

by Saranghae



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: 26th Hunger Games, F/M, Hunger Games, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), POV Original Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-23
Updated: 2013-04-08
Packaged: 2017-11-26 14:00:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 33,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/651236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saranghae/pseuds/Saranghae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The 26th Annual Hunger Games are just around the corner. Dath Mason, a 12 year old boy from District 7, finds out that the odds this year are definitely not in his favour. A girl walks into his life and gives him a reason to keep fighting, but it clashes with everything else he had planned. Facing loss, pain, bitter cold and 23 other people fighting for their lives, Dath has to do everything in his power to protect what he cares about most. The thing he is mere days away from losing forever—his family. Even if it means losing himself along the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Birthdays and Bread

It’s cold. That’s all I can think as I watch the sun setting over the hill.  
  
District 7 is always cold, even on days like this; the middle of July with the sun hanging high in the sky all day. Maybe it’s just me, though. My older brother, Rule, always tells me that even if I stuck my hands in the fireplace, they would still be ice cold. I don’t mind the cold. I like it. It reminds me of happy days. Some of the only happy days I’ve had.  
  
My birthday is tomorrow. Every birthday Rule takes me out to the woods and puts an axe in my hands, teaches me a little more about where to swing, how hard to hit and how to hold your weight. I already know everything he could ever teach me, but it’s the closest thing I have to a family day out.  
  
I’m not allowed into the forests to work yet. I’m only 11. 12 tomorrow. When I’m 14 they’ll officially set me up with hours and put me to work. Other districts have their people starting as young as 10 (places like District 11 or 4, where the work is easy and a lot of the time, better performed by children with small hands) which I find unfair. I wish I could work with Rule all the time.  
  
Rule’s fiancée, Johanna, lives with us in our small house. She lost her parents to a sickness before I was born, when she was a child. Her older sister, who’d raised her until now, was lost in the Hunger Games three years ago. Her and Rule had already become infatuated with each other by then, so we offered her our extra bed. We still kept it around, even after father died.  
  
I feel much better now that it’s filled.  
  
Johanna taught me all the stars, naming them and showing me patterns and shapes--things she called constellations. I thought it was funny, since almost none of the shapes actually looked like what she said they did, but I never stopped smiling when we had those nights together.  
  
I love Johanna. Her and Rule are the closest things to parents that I have. Rule raised me from the time I was a baby. He was only 8 when he started to look after me completely.  
  
My mother died giving birth to me. My father never got over it. He hated me. It’s an awful thing, being hated by one’s father. He never wanted another child (one was enough trouble to look after and feed) and when he lost the love of his life because of this unwanted child; well, it’s safe to say that he never paid me much mind other than to take a swing at me.  
  
He killed himself when I was 7. I was glad he was gone, honestly, but the house felt so empty. I still wake up sometimes, cold sweat dripping down my neck, thinking that he’s come back for me; cold hands wrapped around my neck, sucking the life out of my small body.  
  
Most people don’t know how he died. An accident, they say. It wasn’t an accident. I know, because a couple hours before they found his body, he grabbed me by the arms and shook me, telling me that it was my fault--all of it; my mother’s death, his death, the fact that he couldn’t work so my brother had to pay for the three of us. I know it is. He doesn’t have to keep reminding me.  
  
I wrap my arms around myself as a small breath of air creeps up my neck, ruffling my hair. It’s getting even colder. My birthday is tomorrow. I’ll be 12 and my name will be entered into the pot. I almost want to be reaped. Maybe that way I can get out of my brother’s way.  
  
He would never say that he wanted me gone. He’s probably the nicest person I’ve ever met, besides Johanna. I know I’m a burden though. Johanna’s too skinny. She doesn’t eat enough because she always makes sure I eat first and by the time me and Rule have eaten, there’s only small portions. She only ever really eats at dinner, when Rule is home from work. She made me promise not to tell Rule she skips breakfast and lunch almost every day. I promised, but it doesn’t make me feel any less horrible about it.  
  
Johanna is 18. It’s her last year for the Reaping. Rule is already 19, his slate is clean--free of the threat of the Hunger Games looming over him. I still have 6 years though, which I can see weighs heavily on his shoulders. I wish he wouldn’t worry about me. Even if I was picked, I would be able to handle myself. I wouldn’t be like some of those tributes who get picked off in the first 5 minutes. Idiots. They don’t know what basic survival skills are.  
  
Maybe it comes from hiding from my father’s fists for 7 years, or maybe just because my reflexes are naturally strong, but I’ve never lost a fight.  
  
I’ve been in a lot of fights. At school, mostly. Nobody there likes me. They call me ugly and short and twiggy. They nicknamed me Death, because it seems to follow me everywhere. I don’t blame them, it’s true. I’m sure that’s what my father had in mind when he named me. Maybe that is what he named me and Rule just made him change it.  
  
“Dath?”  
  
I turn when I hear Johanna’s voice rise from the bottom of the hill. She’s smiling and waving up at me.  
  
“Dath, come down here!” she calls, starting the trek up the side of the hill, skirt lifted so it doesn’t trail on the ground. “It’s almost time for dinner!”  
I get to my feet, brushing off the seat of my pants, and start down the hill. Johanna stops climbing, waiting for me to reach her before she turns and starts back down with me beside her.  
  
“What were you doing up there?” she asks, fingers tangled in a knot behind her back, the backs of her hands rested just at her waist. I love it when she does that, it’s so cute and so undeniably Johanna.  
  
I shrug and kick a rock. “I wanted to watch the sun set,” I say, looking up at the sky as we walk out of the forest and into the sawdust covered roads.  
  
If you just glanced at the ground, you’d think it was sand. Practically every inch of District 7 is covered in sawdust.  
  
“Was it nice?” she asks, following my gaze.  
  
Her voice has almost a musical twill to it. It’s like a songbird, twittering away. It’s one of my favourite things about her.  
  
I smile a little and nod my head, shifting my gaze to look at her.  
  
“Johanna?” I ask softly, waiting for her to look down and meet my eyes before I continue. “Have you thought about how you’re going to tell Rule?”  
  
Johanna smiles at me coyly and put a finger to her lips.  
  
“Yes, but it’s a secret,” she says, putting her hand back behind her and twisting her fingers together again.  
  
I make a scowling face at her until she laughs and her resistance breaks. It’s so easy to crack her.  
  
“Alright, alright,” she says, waving me off. “I was going to tell him tonight, actually. After dinner, before we go to sleep. I know I have to tell him soon, so I might as well get it over with.”  
  
I nod again and stare down at the road as we reach the residential area, log cabins ranging from tiny shacks to huge mansions litter the streets. I can see the sparkling white of Victor’s Village in the distance. I hate that place. It’s so untouched by everything that represents District 7. No sawdust on the roads. The houses are made of planks instead of full logs like all the others. The brightness of it, against the dark, warm feeling of the town down here. I love this place, even though I hate it.  
  
“I hope he doesn’t freak out,” I say softly.  
  
I don’t understand how Johanna can be so calm about this. It’s heartbreaking to me. She’s always been so good about keeping in her emotions, turning everything sad into something fun or funny, but I know she’s hurting on the inside.  
  
“He won’t,” she whispers, tucking a lock of bronze hair behind her ear--her freckles standing out against her pale cheeks.  
  
Rule and Johanna have been talking about having a baby. I know how much Rule wants kids. He’s always wanted to be a father. He did such a wonderful job raising me, I know that he’s the best man for the job.  
  
Johanna found out from the doctor yesterday that she can’t have children. The sickness that killed her parents when she was young spread to her as well, but since she was so little, she fought it off easier. It wasn’t a sickness usually prone to children, so it swept right through her. It hurt her, though. Even if she wasn’t practically starving herself, she would always be skinny. It’s so hard for her to put on weight. Her insides are all messed up. I was with her when the doctor told her, but Rule was at work. She still hasn’t told him because she’s scared what it will do to him. She loves him so much that she doesn’t want to hurt him this way. I know how much it will hurt him and I wish I could pretend the way Johanna does.  
  
We walk in silence the rest of the way, kicking up the dust with each step. I watch a flock of geese fly overhead. I wish I had wings like that. Then I could fly away and be free of everything that holds me here. All the peacekeepers that guard the only exit from the District, the Reaping, the Capitol, the crushing feeling that all I’m doing here is starving Johanna and burdening my brother.  
  
I push open the door to our cabin, slipping inside and holding the door for Johanna. I close it once she’s inside, pulling off my boots and tossing them into the corner. Rule’s shoes are already there. He’s home early. I hang my jacket up and sit down on my small bed on the right side of the room, watching as Johanna picks up an apron from the back of a chair and slips it on. Rule walks out of the kitchen and smiles at Johanna, kissing her cheek as she passes him to check on dinner. He leans against the kitchen doorway, watching me with that same smile as he sips at a steaming mug--probably full of coffee that’s more like tasteless brown water than anything else. He pushes himself off the wall and moves over to sit beside me on the bed.  
  
“Hey sport,” he says, draping an arm around my shoulders and placing the mug on the bedside table. “Ready for tomorrow?”  
  
I smile at him and nod; even with my mind full of darker things which I usually try to steer clear of, I can’t help but feel a rush of excitement for tomorrow.  
  
He laughs softly and ruffles my unruly hair. I make a face and glare at him as he walks back into the kitchen.  
  
“Good,” I hear him say from the other room. “I have something special for you. I hope you’re ready for it.”  
  
“If it’s another bark weaving lesson from Jacks, then no thank you.”  
  
Rule barks out a laugh from the other room and I hear Johanna’s twittering giggle.  
  
A couple years ago, Rule took me to see Jacks; a crazy old man who lives a couple cabins down. He’s nice enough and has a lot of ridiculous stories which, even though no one believes them, always get a crowd to sit and listen. I like him, but he’s boring enough to put the trees to sleep.  
  
“No, no visits to Jacks. You’ll like this one.”  
  
I humph softly and pull my legs up to my chest--my chin rested on my knees as I pick at my toe nails for something to do with my hands. I look up, but only my eyes, when Johanna walks out of the kitchen with a pot of something that smells amazing. Rule has his hands on her hips, face buried in her neck as he shadows her to the table where she places the pot down on a cloth so it doesn’t singe the table. She swats him away, still twittering softly. I made a face. Gross.  
  
Rule spots my face and sticks his tongue out at me. I blink at him and scoff, looking away with a roll of my eyes. “Child,” I mutter under my breath before Johanna calls me to the table and I push myself to my feet.  
  
The soup is as good as it smells, some kind of potato and spinach concoction that almost has me moaning with the first bite. Johanna’s one of the best cooks in town. She works in the kitchens, feeding the workers when they take their lunch break. Rule always says the stuff she makes for just the three of us is the best, though. I believe him because I doubt that anything could taste better than this.  
  
We eat without talking because the soup is so good, but I can feel the weight on Johanna’s shoulders growing heavier as our bowls empty and Rule yawns. I meet her eyes and offer my most comforting, encouraging smile. I doubt it helps at all, but she returns it. “I’m going to go visit Jacks before bed,” I say, pushing back my chair and grabbing my coat.  
  
I hear Rule calling me back even as I slip out the door--one boot still in my hands.  
  
“What’s gotten into him?” I hear him ask through the door. “He just said he didn’t want to go see Jacks.”  
  
“Doesn’t want to get a boring lesson from Jacks,” Johanna tutts as the sound of clicking dishes mingles with her birdsong. “That doesn’t mean he doesn’t want one of his stories.”  
  
Rule seems to give up at that, muttering about never being able to understand the minds of children. I rush off now that my second boot is on.  
  
I’m not going to see Jacks. I just wanted to get out of the house so that they could be alone. The last thing Johanna needs is an awkward kid sitting in the corner pretending he’s not there when she tells her boyfriend she can’t give him his dream of being a father.  
  
I walk through the streets slowly, kicking up dirt and listening to the night birds whistling their goodnights to each other. There’s barely anyone out, everyone has gone inside to eat or sleep. I ignore the two peacekeepers who watches me walk past with curious but uninterested gazes. They’re so used to seeing me out at night now.  
  
“There goes Death,” I hear one of them says to the other, a slight chuckle in his tone.  
  
“Making his nightly rounds,” the other adds, making the both of them laugh.  
  
I ignore them even more now.  
  
I make my way back through the forest to my hill. It’s one of the only places in the forest that’s not covered in trees. And they weren’t cut down, it was naturally bare. I sit down on my rock and gaze out over the rest of the forest. Our district is one of the biggest because of all the trees we need. We go through so many a year that even though we always plant a new one for every one we cut down, we still have to expand far out into the forest.  
  
I look up into one of the pine trees when I hear a soft hoot. An owl is perched on a low branch, scanning the ground for mice. I’m still, watching him closely. I’m good at being still, pretending I’m not there. I’m so good at it, that if I want, I can go completely unseen by most, even animals like this expert hunter. I’m sure he knows I’m there, just doesn’t care--I’m no threat to him and he knows it.  
  
He dives down and catches a small grey mouse in his claws, swooping back up to his branch and swallowing it hole. I watch him as he works it down his throat with morbid fascination. I’ve always loved the way animals work. It’s so different from the way humans do.  
  
The owl looks at me, his head turning around so it’s almost 180 degrees around his body. He hoots at me so I hoot back. This seems to startle him a little, since his head snaps back to the front and he shoots from the branch, soaring off into the night.  
  
“Goodbye, Mr. Owl,” I say quietly, waving weakly. “I hope you liked your mouse.”  
  
It’s colder now, but it bothers me even less now that I have so many things on my mind. I know I can’t go home tonight. Johanna and Rule need the time alone. I’ll sleep here, curled on my rock. It’s about as wide as my arms spread out to the sides and a little bit taller than me. Flat and hard and cold.  
I lay down on my side, my head cushioned on my arm. I watch the owl glide slowly through the sky, hooting at the moon. I hear the howl of a wolf answer it’s call so I join in, howling away at the big round moon which stares down at me blankly as if it say “What do you expect me to do? I can’t help you”.  
  
 _I know_ , I think back at it.

***

It’s dawn when I wake. I roll over and groan softly, stretching out my stiff limbs. I slept like a rock, as stiff as the one I lay on.  
  
Sitting up hurts a little because all my joints have locked but when I’m on my feet it only takes a couple steps for the stiffness to go away completely. I walk down the hill quietly, hands in my pockets. The workers are starting to filter into the woods. Some of them look at me strangely, as if wondering why I’m in the forest so early and why I seem to be heading home. Other’s smile and wave, completely used to my allnighters in the woods. “Goodmorning, Dath,” one of them says to me as I pass; a big woman with strong arms and a missing front tooth named Elda,  
  
“Goodmorning, Elda,” I say back, giving a small wave and a smile. She’s nice. A little odd, but nice. Like Jacks, except she doesn’t have as many stories and she doesn’t know how to bore people to tears with her lessons. Her lessons are usually quite fun. She’s the one who taught me how to throw.  
  
I learned a lot of skills from the workers over the years. Without a proper father to teach us how to do things, the workers took over that role. They taught how to do things like chop wood and whittle and throw a knife at a target from 5 meters away, always hitting the bullseye.  
  
“Happy Birthday!” I hear Elda call as I reach the edge of the forest as if she’s just remembered. “I’ll teach you how to climb trees with only your hands later once Rule is done with you!” Odd, but nice. She’s actually much more than nice. She’s one of my closest friends. She’s also the mother of the only boy my age who I like. Bailey is his name. He’s cute and awkward and small, even though he’s two years older than me. He gets picked on a lot so I stand up for him. Her husband, Jeb, is only a little bigger than she is, but he’s like a giant stuffed bear. He’s as silent as one too, talks very little.  
  
I smile back at her and shout a thank you, promising that I’ll meet up with her before dark. As strange as her newest lesson sounds, I’m excited for it.  
  
I reach my cabin just as the door opens and Rule steps out. I freeze, unsure what to do. He looks like he hasn’t slept all night. His eyes are bloodshot and he stares at the ground, not noticing me.  
  
He starts to walk towards the woods. I wonder if I don’t move or make a sound he’ll walk right past me. He seems in another world almost. But I can’t let him go to work like that without saying anything. I need to say _something_.  
  
“Rule?” I whisper quietly, snapping his attention quickly to me. His eyes go a little wide and he suddenly has a hold on my shoulders, shaking me.  
  
“Where were you?” he asks, a slight desperation in his voice. I blink at him, staring at him with concern until he lets me go and takes a step back.  
  
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, shaking his head. “I was just worried. You didn’t come home last night and Jacks said you never came over when I went looking for you.”  
  
“I was on my hill,” I say softly, feeling earth shatteringly guilty now.  
  
He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, shaking his head and muttering to himself about how stupid it was that he didn’t check there since that’s always where I am.  
“Did you sleep there?” he asks, looking back up and me and crossing his arms. “You know how much we hate it when you spend the night in the woods. There are wolves out there.”  
  
I can’t help but roll my eyes. “Yeah, on the other side of an electric fence.” He’s still scowling. I sigh and cross my arms in a huff. “I’m sorry I stayed out all night, but what else was I supposed to do? Johanna needed to talk to you alone. I was just in the way.”  
  
Rule visibly deflates.  
  
“You knew about that?” he asks softly, eyes wide and hurt, as if the idea that I knew something like that and didn’t tell him immediately is one of the worst things a brother can do. Oh great, more guilt.  
  
I nod slowly. “I couldn’t tell you,” I whisper. “It wasn’t my secret to tell.”  
  
He seems to understand this because he stops looking so hurt and just pushes his black hair out of his face again. I wonder if they fought. He looks more drained than ever. I think about how happy they were last night, flirting and laughing. It’s my birthday and my brother looks like he’s lost all hope. I suddenly don’t feel like family time any more.  
  
“I’m going to go inside now,” I say when he doesn’t move. He looks up at me in surprise, realizing he’s blocking my way to the door.  
  
“Oh,” he says, starting to move aside before he falters. “Are… are you coming to the woods?”  
  
I chew my lip out of habit--a habit that Rule has been trying to wean me off of since I was 6.  
  
“Yeah,” I say with a forced smile. “I’ll meet you there. “I just want to change and talk to Johanna first. Let her know I’m safe.”  
  
Rule nods and walks past me, heading towards the woods.  
  
I rush to the door and push it open, needing to be inside as soon as possible.  
  
“Johanna?” I ask, not seeing her in the front room where our beds and table are. I hear her twill at me from the kitchen. I can smell the scent of pine bread. She’s baking. That can only mean one thing; she’s barely holding back tears.  
  
I go into the kitchen and hug her from behind, stopping the frantic stirring of her spoon. We stand there for a moment or two in complete silence before I feel her shoulders start to shake and she twists in my hold, pulling me tight against her and buries her face in my thick black hair. I let her cry for a good 10 minutes before she pulls back, wiping her wet face. It’s the most I’ve seen her cry since her sister died.  
  
“I’m sorry,” she blubbers softly, covering her face with her hands and shaking her head slowly. “I’m upsetting you, aren’t I.”  
  
I shake my head even though she can’t seem me through her long fingers. “I was already upset. I’m upset because you and Rule are. It’s okay to cry when you’re upset. That’s what you always tell me.”  
  
She peeks at me through her fingers and a small smile plays at her lips. “It is, isn’t it?” she says softly, the light humour coming back into her soft voice. “Now I’m being a hypocrite.”  
  
She puts her hands by her sides and lets out a long sigh. We stand there watching each other for a moment or two before she starts to bubble up with laughter, her hand pressed to her stomach and forehead as she tries to hold herself together. It’s a slightly insane laughter, the kind that people only do when they’re holding back a fit of tears. I’m happy she’s laughing though, even if it’s just this kind of laugh, because it means that she’ll be okay in a day or two. She always is. She’s so good at pulling herself back together that sometimes I wonder if she ever gets sad. It’s times like this that I remember she can--she’s just the toughest woman I’ve ever met, and I know people like Elda; who have arms that are bigger than my head.  
  
“How did he take it?” I ask once we’re sitting at the table with cups of hot pine tea. She shakes her head slowly and sighs. “It’s hard,” she whispers softly, “to tell you exactly because he was so many different things last night it’s difficult to latch onto one emotion.”  
  
I give her a moment while she sips her tea and thinks.  
  
“At first he was just silent,” she says, staring down at the liquid in her cup. “Then he just said ‘no’ over and over again like he couldn’t believe what I was telling him. I explained more thoroughly to him and he just started crying. He cried for so long that I was afraid he might drown. Then he stopped crying and just stared at the table for almost as long as he’d cried for. He apologized and said that it wasn’t fair to me for him to be acting that way. He went all silent again and then he asked how long I’d known and I told him. Then he got angry, shouting that I should have told him the instant I found out, but I told him how hard it was for me to even accept it myself and I knew that a reaction like the one I just got would only make it harder.  
  
“I’m certain that I was shouting at him too, but it’s a little fuzzy. I was trying so hard not to cry that I’m sure I wasn’t acting like myself.” She takes a pause for another sip. “He calmed down at that and went silent again. Then he started to wonder where you’d went. I told him that you hadn’t been gone for long but he insisted on going looking for you. I know he just wanted to get away to think by himself--probably to cry some more where I couldn’t see. He hates it when I see him crying, almost as much as he does when you do.”  
  
I knew that well enough. I’d seen Rule cry a total of 3 times in my life. One time when my father beat me so hard that I nearly blacked out. It was the first time Rule had ever seen him hit me like that before. He’d seen the scars, the cuts and the bruises but he never saw it actually happening until then. The second when my father killed himself (I guess, even though he was the worse example of a father I’d ever met, he was still our father and he’d always been so much nicer to Rule than he had been to me) and the third when we watched Johanna’s older sister get her throat cut on television.  
  
Johanna’s sister’s name was Juniper. She was pretty and had long rust coloured hair, like her sister. She didn’t have freckles, which was one of the only ways you could tell them apart besides the height difference. They were practically like twins in looks. Juniper took care of us as best she could, knowing what it was like to have no parents. She helped Rule care for me since he didn’t know what he was doing half the time. I had called her Aunt June for as long as I could remember.  
  
I take a sip of my tea when Johanna goes silent again. It’s a long while before she says anything but I don’t move, knowing she’s not finished yet.  
  
“When he came back he was frantic. I knew you had probably just gone to your hill, but he could barely hear me he was so far in his head. He lay down and stared at the wall all night. I slept in your bed since I couldn’t bare to lay beside him while he was like that… so fragile. I felt I would break him if I touched him.”  
  
I reach my hand across the table and take Johanna’s hand in mine, running my thumb across her knuckles to calm her--the way her sister had always done when she was alive.  
  
Johanna smiles sadly at me and brings both of our hands to her lips, kissing the back of mine and lowering them back to the table. We sit there, hands clasped, as the silence folds around us. We finish our tea without letting go of each other.  
  
“You’d better go meet him before he comes looking for you,” she says with a sigh, letting go of my hand reluctantly and taking my empty cup with her into the kitchen.  
  
I nod and chew at my lip. “I’ll see you later, okay Jo?”  
  
She looks over her shoulder from her place at the sink, the old twinkle in her eye that I’d missed since this morning.  
  
“You have fun out there, little lumberjack.”  
  
I grin widely and slip my boots back on, having forgotten to take my jacket off when I came in. I run out of the house and towards the woods, determined to have a good birthday and cheer Rule up.  
  
I meet him by the big oak tree, hands in my pockets and a grin on my face. He looks down at me with a raised eyebrow, axe over his shoulder as he leans against the tree. “Took you long enough, what were you two doing? Baking bread?”  
  
I laugh because, yes, Johanna was actually baking bread, but I don’t say that.  
  
I can tell that Rule is already feeling better. His eyes are still bloodshot from the crying and lack of sleep but he’s smiling and that’s enough for me to know that he’ll be alright.  
  
We spend most of the day just chopping away at trees. I shout “timber!” loudly as the first tree I cut down falls. I get a round of applause from the workers near by because it was a big tree and I cut it down so quickly.  
  
Rule pulls me aside after a couple hours and tells me to close my eyes and hold out my hands. I do as I’m told, my mind reeling as I try and figure out what he’s going to give me without cheating. I feel something soft and light placed in my hands. He tells me to open my eyes so I do. I look down at the cord necklace. On the end of it hangs a carved figure of a pinecone, one of my favourite things that comes out of the forest.  
  
“You made this?” I ask, looking up at him, unable to contain my happiness. It’s beautiful.  
  
Rule smiles and nods. He’s always been the best whittler I know.  
  
I hug him and tell him how much I love it. He takes me to the top of my hill and we eat our lunch that Johanna made us, talking happily about this and that. My fingers never leave the pinecone that hangs around my neck.  
  
I love it out here. It makes me feel alive. This is what I love about this district. The woods. These are my home. This is where I truly belong. 

***

Ready to go?”  
  
I look over my shoulder at Elda who’s standing beside a huge tree with her gloves on and a look of over eagerness on her face. I smile and nod, as eager as she is. I rush over, Rule following closely behind.  
  
I watch in fascination as Elda climbs to the top of the tree without putting her feet on it once, swinging her hands from branch to branch and using momentum to get her up. It looks stupidly hard and strange (because why would I climb a tree without my legs? It seems overly complex since I can easily just put my feet on the tree and get up it much faster) but I try it anyways. It is as hard and strange as I expected it to be and then some.  
  
I have to keep reminding myself not to chew my lip as I concentrate because I’m going to bite a hole in it with the amount of concentration used for this task.  
  
It takes a good solid hour and about 100 falls before I reach the top without my legs. I can hear the woops and cheers from the crowd that’s assembled to watch me learn. The day of work is over by now but no one seems to want to head home just yet. I punch the air with my fists in victory from my spot perched on an upper branch. It’s a bad idea though, because the second I let go of the tree, I slip and almost fall to my death. I manage to grab hold of a branch and pull myself up onto it.  
  
I climb down normally and get a smack over the head from Rule for being reckless and then a hug because he’s glad I didn’t flatten myself on the ground. I laugh and punch his arm when he lets me go, walking back towards the village with the group as they talk about how good I did. No one mentions the fact that now that I’m 12 I’m entered into the pot and can be selected for this years reaping. No one seems to be thinking about it. I’m happy because for once no one is feeling the shadow of sorrow and fear that the Hunger Games constantly has over us.


	2. Guts and Goodbyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 26th Annual Hunger Games are just around the corner. Dath Mason, a 12 year old boy from District 7, finds out that the odds this year are definitely not in his favour. A girl walks into his life and gives him a reason to keep fighting, but it clashes with everything else he had planned. Facing loss, pain, bitter cold and 23 other people fighting for their lives, Dath has to do everything in his power to protect what he cares about most. The thing he is mere days away from losing forever—his family. Even if it means losing himself along the way.

I lay in bed awake. I can’t sleep. Today is it, the Reaping. The day that one boy and one girl gets chosen from each of the 12 districts to fight to the death. The winner; given money beyond their wildest dreams and the title of Victor. That’s who live in Victor’s Village.  
  
The rest; well, they get to die.  
  
I roll out of bed when the sun comes up, feeling like I’ve been laying there for years. Sometimes I tell myself that I should be picked for the Games because then I won’t be a burden any more, but then I think of what goes on in the arena and of everything that happens--what we’re expected to do--and I shrink back, not wanting to ever think about going in there again.  
  
My days are numbered, I know that, but maybe just one more birthday would be nice.  
  
I sit on the edge of my bed and watch Johanna and Rule sleep curled against each other in the bed on the other side of the room. There’s been no more talk about Johanna’s condition. It’s forgotten, except not really. I know that Rule will never stop thinking about what he has lost and Johanna will never stop thinking about what she can never give the man she loves. I chew my lip again and look away.  
  
Standing slowly, I slip on my boots and leave a note that I’m going to my hill before the Reaping and that I’ll be back here in time to get ready. The Reaping is at noon so I have a good 5 hours before I have to go anywhere.  
  
I grab my coat and head for the door when I hear Johanna stir. I freeze, looking over my shoulder and catch her gazing at me steadily. She smiles weakly. I stare back. This is it. This is her last year and my first. The only year that we’ll be standing in lines at the same time, waiting with baited breath to see if it’s our name they call.  
  
“Be back by 11,” she says in a whisper, knowing where I’m going without needing to read my note. I smile at her and nod, rushing out the door and closing it softly behind me. I run to the top of my hill at full speed and stare up the tree that I’d seen the owl in a few days before. I take a deep breath and jump, grabbing hold of the lowest branch on the tree. I steady my breathing the way Elda told me to and swing my legs back and forth so I can use the upwards motion to move my hand to the next branch. I struggle my way up but manage to get to the top without using my feet or falling once. I feel a rush of accomplishment and smile out over the forest that I love. I wonder if this will be the last time I ever see it. The last time that I breathe in the strong scent of pine and dirt and sawdust.  
  
I watch the sun rise and hear the birds begin to chirp away without a care in the world. They have it so good. No Capitol to hold them back. I can tell that this will be a hard day. I can feel the air thickening already.  
  
I sit in my tree gazing over the forest for what is probably hours because the sun has completely risen and a gust of wind whips my already unruly dark hair around my face. I look up and see what caused the blast. It was the Capitol’s airship. They’re landing, which mean’s it’s probably almost 10. It takes them about half an hour to get set up, having so many people working at the same time to get things done quickly.  
  
I stay in my tree, not wanting to go down and face the day.  
  
I’m terrified. This is the first time I’ve ever felt true fear. I was scared of my father--scared whenever he would wake from drunken stupors and see me there, remember what I had done and beat me until I didn’t cry any more--but nothing prepared me for the terror that my first Reaping has brought. I look down at my arms, eyes scanning the scars that litter them from the many times my father had broken bottles over my them as I tried to shield my face from harm. I have so many scars I don’t know what to do with them. I can’t remember how I got half of them; from being too young to remember or having blocked out the trauma of them, I’m not sure, but either way I know who each and every one of them were caused by.  
  
All but one scar was from my father. The only one I know that was not from him was the one on the side of my foot. I had a close encounter with an axe when I was probably around 5 or 6, dropping it on the floor and nicking the side of my foot with the blade. It had hurt a lot, but I don’t remember the pain really. I do remember the look on Rule’s face as clear as day, though. He’d seen it happen. He didn’t let me touch an axe (or anything sharp at all for that matter) for another year after that.  
  
I slip out of the tree as gracefully as I can in my absentminded state and start a slow trek back down to my cabin. I pass other children my age, older than me, younger than me. They all look at me the same way. They’re all scared of me. I don’t mind, the adults are all better friends anyways.  
  
The adults and Bailey. He’s probably terrified right now. Bailey is a real wimp, he’s scared of everything. Shadows, spiders, loud noises. You name it. I haven’t seen him for almost three days since school has been cancelled this week. I look towards my cabin, where Johanna and Rule are waiting for me but my mind lingers on that defenceless friend of mine.  
  
A last minute decision; I make a detour towards Elda’s house.  
  
I knock on the door and smile when Jeb opens the door. He smile’s at me and steps aside so I can slide inside the cabin. Elda looks up from where she’s sitting on the bed; grim faced as she tries to comb some of the knots out of Bailey’s ridiculous curls. She smiles at me and stops her task, defeated and glad for a distraction.  
  
“Dath,” she says softly, causing Bailey to turn towards me as well. He has tears in his eyes and I’m not sure if it’s because of what he’s about to go and face or because his mother has been yanking at his hair. “What are you doing here, sweetheart?”  
  
I look at my boots, shuffling a little and chewing at my lip. “I just wanted to come… and wish Bailey good luck I guess.” I rub the back of my head in embarrassment. Honestly, I have no idea why I came here. I was just thinking about Bailey--thinking about how scrawny he is and how he wouldn’t last five seconds in the arena and suddenly my feet were taking me here. I look up and find Bailey even closer to tears than before and both of his parents smiling sadly at me. I look at the comb in Elda’s hand and hold out my own tentatively. “May I try?” I ask quietly. Elda nods and moves off the bed, handing me the comb and letting me sit behind Bailey. Elda and Jeb whisper to each other before moving into the kitchen to give me and Bailey time alone. I don’t think about it much, but I guess Bailey is my best friend. The concept is a little beyond me, but it’s comforting to me now.  
  
I slowly start to pull the comb gently through Bailey’s hair, listening to him sniffing.  
  
“You’re going to be fine,” I whisper softly, managing to get some of the knots out of his hair somehow. “Your name is only in 3 times. There are so many other kids who’ve put their name in way more times.” The comb gets stuck a little but I pull it out of his hair and pick up the knot with my fingers, working at it carefully. “And besides, if your name get’s pulled, I’ll just volunteer for you. There’s no way I’d let a rag doll like you go there, you’d be squashed.”  
  
Bailey turns his head to me and looks at me with big eyes, the comb getting lost in his curls.  
  
“You’d really volunteer for me?” he asks. He sounds astonished, like the idea of someone caring enough to put their life on the line to save his is totally beyond him. I smack him lightly on the back of the head and make a face.  
  
“Of course I would,” I say, pushing his head back to front so I can continue to work on the slowly unravelling blond curls. I snag the comb back from Bailey‘s hair and resume my work. “You’re my friend, I’m not going to watch another person I care about die. I’d rather be in their place then sit there and do nothing to protect them.”  
I don’t realize how true the words are until they’re out of my mouth. I would rather die then watch another person I love die in those games. After Aunt June, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do it again. We were lucky. Her death had been slightly less graphic and horrible than the others. There was one boy, only my age, who had gotten his legs blown off and was still trying to crawl away from someone who was trying to stab him in the gut. I shiver at the memory.  
  
I pull back once I’m done fixing Bailey’s curls.  
  
“There, now you look camera ready,” I say with a satisfied smile. Elda and Jeb come out of the kitchen and I can tell Elda’s been crying. I’m not sure if it’s because of what they heard me say to Bailey or because of the overwhelming emotion this day always brings. Either way, the look on her face forces me to stand from the bed and move over to her, wrapping my arms around her middle and pull her tight against me.  
  
She folds me in her big arms, kissing the top of my head with trembling lips and brushing a bit of black out of my eyes.  
  
“I meant it, you know,” I whisper so only she can hear, Jeb having gone towards Bailey to help him find clothes and to give Elda and I a moment alone. “I’d never let them get their hands on him.”  
  
She doesn’t say anything, just cries a little more and kissed my cheek, kneeling down to my level. She’s gripping my arms tightly, looking into my eyes with an intensity that I’ve never seen before in this strange woman who I‘ve known all my life.  
  
“I love you, boy,” she says in a hushed tone. “I love you like you are my own. I have wished for years that I could have saved you and your brother from that man. I’m sorry I never did. You could have really been mine.” There’s a pause where she doesn’t say anything, just stands and pulls me back into her arms. I’m speechless. I don’t know what to say to her, so I don’t make a sound.  
  
She wanted to be my mother. She thinks of me as her son.  
  
I feel tears well in my eyes before I can hold them back.  
  
“I don’t want you going in there any more than Bailey, Dath,” she says, her voice breaking on my name.  
  
I swallow the lump in my throat and nod, but I know that if Bailey’s name really does get pulled then I won’t hesitate to jump in for him. At least I stand a better chance of survival than he does.  
  
Elda, Jeb and Bailey all walk me to my cabin, sit at my table with Johanna drinking tea as Rule helps me find clothes. He gives me one of his old shirts that he wore when he went to the Reaping. It’s a little big but he rolls up the sleeves and tucks it into my brown slacks. He sits on the bed and straightens my hair, much like how Elda had done with Bailey. I let him try and tame the mess but he gives up not even a minute after he started and lets Johanna take over. She manages to calm the storm of black hair on my head, wordlessly handing the reins back to Rule as she moves back to the table to continue the conversation she was having with Elda and Jeb. Bailey is watching me from the table, visibly shaking. I wave him over and pat the bed beside me when he comes. He sits down where I patted and leans his forehead against my shoulder.  
  
“I don’t want to go down there,” he whispered softly against Rule’s shirt. I feel the hot tears on my shoulder. “I’m scared, Dath. What if they call my name? I don’t want to go, I’m so scared to go. But I don’t want you to go either. You’re my only friend. I don’t want you to die.” His voice breaks just like his mother’s did. I put my arm around his shoulder and hug him to me, resting the side of my head against the top of his, rubbing my hand up and down his arm. “You’ll be okay,” I whisper. “We’ll both be okay.”  
  
We jolt apart when we hear the sound. The horn that calls everyone to the square for the Reaping. Bailey is shaking more now and crying again. I wipe his face and kiss the top of his head. He just cries more. I wish I could make it stop, the pain he’s feeling.  
  
We get up slowly and put on our boots. It’s warm today, which is strange for District 7. I hold Bailey’s hand the entire way down to the Reaping. I realize as we reach the line to sign in and part from the others that they are my family.  
  
Rule, Johanna, Elda, Jeb, Bailey--they are the people who care about me the most in the world. They are the people who I will protect no matter what the cost. I love them and they love me.  
  
I hug Rule and Jeb, kiss Johanna and Elda on the cheek and get in line. Bailey does the same, although he hugs his mother so tightly I fear he might suddenly grow the strength to snap her. I peel him off of her and pull him towards the line. I look over my shoulder again and see Rule and Johanna hugging tightly, kiss each other and whisper what I can only assume are words of love before she pulls away from him and joins the line a couple people behind us. Bailey is still clinging to my hand and doesn’t let go until we have to separate to get into our age lines. He’s two rows behind me and I can still hear him sobbing. I turn my head and see one of the boys beside him look down at him with a mix of pity and revolution. I glare at him until he notices me and snaps his eyes back to the front. No one teases him today, no one has the energy.  
  
I barely listen as the mayor makes the same announcement he makes every year. Saying that this is a time of remembrance and lists off the names of the many, many people who have died from District 7 in the Hunger Games. I don’t listen to the video the play every year either. I’m thinking too hard, trying to remember how to breathe. As the mayor leaves the stage, the doors behind him open and a woman walks out.  
  
I watch with hate as a tall skinny woman steps out of the doors and sings those famous lines into the microphone. I despise this woman almost as much as I do the man who pulls her strings. Her name is Mila Kaylem and she makes my skin crawl. She’s wearing a bring orange outfit covered in pearls. Her hair is a strange shade of blue that I’ve never seen before and it has what looks like a fish trying to swim out of it. I think the poor creature may actually be moving.  
  
“Happy Hunger Games!” she sings. “And my the odds be ever in your favour!”  
  
I’m thinking of all the places I can tell her to stick her Happy Hunger Games when I spot the rest of the people on the stage. The past Victors. These people will be my mentors. I study them all. There are 4 of them in total. All four of them are girls. I can tell that the odds are definitely in the girl’s favour.  
  
My eyes flick back to Mila Kaylem when she opens her mouth again.  
  
“Ladies first,” she says. (She always says.)  
  
I watch her digging around in the ball and suddenly my heart is in my throat. I can feel it coming. I can hear fate laughing in my ear. The odds are not in my favour, I know that. I know what she pulls before she says the name because I can feel the sense of cold, icy dread filling my veins.  
  
“Johanna Lest!”  
  
I feel a scream of horror claw it’s way out of me. My mouth is open but no sound comes out, the scream stuck at the back of my throat, refusing to come out.  
  
I watch, frozen, as Johanna walks slowly through the crowd, two peacekeepers at her sides. She doesn’t look at me. I know she can’t. She has to stay strong. Her face doesn’t look scared but she’s trembling.  
  
She stands beside Mila Kaylem and stares out into the crowd, looking stunned and horrified. Mila asks her a question but it takes another two tries and a shake of the arm to get the words out of Johanna’s throat.  
  
“18,” she says in reply when Mila asks her age for the third time.  
  
Mila looks both excited and dramatically sad.  
  
“Your last year, my dear,” she says with fake sympathy. I’m seconds away from climbing up there and ripping her to shreds and beating her with her fish.  
  
“Yes,” Johanna says, a squeak which causes her voice to break a little at the end.  
  
Mila Kaylem can tell she’s not going to get anything else out of Johanna right now.  
  
“And now for the boys!” She sings, walking to the other side of the stage that holds the big round ball full of names of every male from the age 12 to 18. I hold my breath without realizing it.  
  
I’m so devastated that it takes me a second to realize that she’s already spoken the name and I’ve totally missed it. I’ve already decided that whoever she calls, I will take their place. Johanna is going to be in the arena. I will go in with her and protect her with my life. She will win this game and come home to Rule if it’s the last thing I do. And yes, it will be the very last thing that I do.  
  
I turn my head to see who’s walking down the street, the words almost out of my mouth before they get stuck.  
  
No. No way.  
  
She had called Bailey Stone  
  
I watch, eyes wide with horror, as Bailey walks down the sawdust street.  
  
The words come now but they are so much stronger and clearer than I thought possible for what I wreck I am on the inside.  
  
“I volunteer as tribute!”  
  
Silence. Complete and total silence. Never before have those words come from the first row, the 12 year olds. No one this young has ever volunteered. No one this young has ever come back.  
  
I walk towards the path, my class mates stepping aside for me. I hold my head high and walk straight towards the stage. I clench my fists to stop them from shaking.  
Screaming. I hear screaming. Bailey is screaming at the top of his lungs for me, pulled back towards the crowd by the peacekeepers who had been walking with him. But that’s not all. I hear my brother.  
  
I falter a little, turn my head to look at Rule as he tries to get to me. The screams are ripping from his throat, calling my name, Johanna’s name, screaming. No, no, Dath, Johanna, no, don’t take them, you can’t take them, please, no.  
  
My heart feels like it’s been ripped from my body and I wish I could go and hug him but I don’t. I turn my face away from him and walk towards the stage again. Jeb is dragging Rule away from the Reaping. I can still hear him screaming when I reach the stage. Johanna has her hands over her mouth and she’s crying openly. She’s broke, not even trying to hold it back any longer. I can feel a tear slide down my cheek as well but I wipe it away before I turn to face the crowd.  
  
Mila watches me closely, looking me up and down in slight confusion and concern. I’m sure she’s never in her life seen a volunteer tribute this young from any district but possibly 2.  
  
She waits until Rules screams can no longer be heard (although they are still playing loudly in my own head) before she speaks again. “What is your name, child?” she asks, moving the microphone so I can speak into it.  
  
“Dath Mason,” I say, voice void of all emotion.  
  
She moves to mic back to her own mouth.  
  
“Was that your friend?” she asks, referring to Bailey, who is curled in his mother’s arms sobbing his eyes out.  
  
“My best friend,” I tell her.  
  
Mila makes a humming noise, as if she’s rolling my words on her tongue and trying to come up with a good response.  
  
“And that boy, the one they dragged away. He knew you both, did he not? Are the two of you close?”  
  
Johanna seems unable to speak. She still has her hands over her mouth, so I speak for her.  
  
“She’s my sister in law,” I say softly into the microphone. Even though Rule and Johanna are not technically married yet, she is still my family. “That was my brother.”  
  
Mila definitely looks excited now. She’s not even pretending to be sympathetic.  
  
She doesn’t say anything else, just concludes the Reaping and shuffles Johanna and I off the stage. On our way out, Johanna scrambles to grab my hand. I hold onto her for dear life.  
  
They pull us apart so we can say our goodbyes but I can hear everyone making such a ruckus outside the rooms that they eventually put us both in the same room.  
  
Johanna pulls me into her arms the second I’m in the room and I collapse against her, holding her as tightly as I can and crying quietly against the shoulder of her pretty pink dress.  
  
“I’m sorry,” I whisper through sobs. “I’m so sorry.”  
  
She shushes me but she’s crying too. She’s sobbing harder than I am and I can feel each tremor of her body against mine.  
  
“No, angel,” she whispers into my hair. “Don’t apologize. You saved Bailey’s life. You did such a brave thing. I’m so proud of you.”  
  
She knows. She understands.  
  
Bailey wouldn’t last a second. I, however, have a chance. It’s small, but it’s there.  
  
We’re still holding each other when Rule comes in. He’s crying and screaming and shaking me and holding me and shaking me again and it all blurs together but it doesn’t matter. I just go limp and let him do whatever he needs to to get his feelings out. He pulls back after hugging the both of us, one in each arm, and looks me hard in the face.  
“What were you thinking?” he hisses.  
  
“I refuse to watch Bailey die,” I say softly.  
  
His next words hit me like a slap in the face. “So now I have to watch you die?”  
  
I look at him with sad eyes and tilt my head to the side. “Rule,” I whisper, putting my hand on my brother’s cheek. “I need to protect Johanna. You need her so much more than you need me. I promise you I’ll bring her back to you, safe.”  
  
Rule just cries. Johanna buries her face in her hands and sobs.  
  
The peacekeepers come and drag Rule out of the room because our six minutes are up (both of our three minutes have been combined into 6) but not before Johanna kisses him one last time and I pull him into a tight hug. “I love you,” we both say to him and he echos it back.  
  
They split us up into different rooms again and my next visitors are Bailey, Elda and Jeb.  
  
Bailey just buries himself in my arms and bangs his fists weakly against my chest while calling me and idiot for taking his place through his tears.  
  
Jeb pulls Bailey off of me after about a minute so that Elda can hug me again. I hold her tightly around the middle and breathe in the strong scent of pine that follows every person in District 7 that I’m going to miss so much.  
  
“I’m sorry, Elda,” I whisper into her shirt. I’m not crying any more because my tears are all dried up but my voice still breaks.  
  
She shakes her head and kisses my head. “You saved my son,” she whispers into my hair. “I only wish I could now take your place.”  
  
She kneels in front of me and looks me in the eye.  
  
“You win, boy, do you hear me? You win and you come home.”  
  
I almost start to cry again, despite the lack of tears. I shake my head slowly.  
  
“I can’t,” I whisper, looking down. “I have to protect Johanna. I promised. I promised I would get her home. This is my job, Elda. Johanna is the love of Rule’s life. He needs her. If he loses her, then I’ve lost my brother too. They’ll get on without me, in time. I know they will. I just want him to have her. I was going to volunteer after they chose Johanna no matter what. But then it was Bailey and I didn’t even hesitate.”  
  
Elda stares at me for a moment of silence. Even Bailey’s stopped crying as he stares at me. They’re all coming to the same conclusion. This is the last time they’re ever going to see me. I’m not even going to try and win.  
  
Suddenly Bailey is in my arms again and both Elda and Jeb have their arms around me. We stay like that for what seems like ages but is only seconds because the three minutes is up and the peacekeepers come in and drag them off.  
  
I’m left alone in this cold room in the Justice Building. I look at my hands, which are shaking something dreadful.  
  
This is it. I’m a tribute. I am in the Hunger Games.  
  
And I am going to die.


	3. Tilly and Tam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 26th Annual Hunger Games are just around the corner. Dath Mason, a 12 year old boy from District 7, finds out that the odds this year are definitely not in his favour. A girl walks into his life and gives him a reason to keep fighting, but it clashes with everything else he had planned. Facing loss, pain, bitter cold and 23 other people fighting for their lives, Dath has to do everything in his power to protect what he cares about most. The thing he is mere days away from losing forever—his family. Even if it means losing himself along the way.

The train to take us to the Capitol is probably the most expensive thing I’ve ever seen in my whole life. It’s huge and decked out for a king. The walls of my temporary room are dark blue with light cream flowers curling up the corners. I can’t tell what kind of flower they are and I wonder if they’re made up.  
  
There’s clothes for me here, in the massive closet that’s bigger then my entire house. The clothes come in all sizes, probably because they didn’t know how old the male tribute would be. I head towards the section that houses the smallest clothes. I find a soft green cotton shirt and a pair of strange blue pants made out of something that I’ve never seen before.  
  
I walk out of the closet and towards the small bathroom attached to my room, pushing open the door and catching sight of the pristine white tub. I place the clothes on the sink and strip down, turning on the water and jumping when I find that it’s warm. I’ve never had a hot shower before and it feels so good that I just close my eyes and let the water wash over me. I am so caught up in how good it feels that I almost forget to wash myself. There’s soap for my body and hair, which I make quick use of.  
  
I stand in the stream of hot water for so long that someone knocks on my door and tells me that it’s almost time for dinner. Reluctantly, I turn off the spray of water and step out, drying myself off with a fluffy white towel hanging on the back of the door. I stand in front of the long floor length mirror, staring at my body in slight awe. It’s the cleanest I’ve ever been. I can see the sharp pale lines of each of my scars. We don’t have a mirror at home. This is the first time I’ve seen myself like this.  
  
It’s ugly. Each scar brings back memories of a man who still haunts me. I tear my eyes away from the mirror, resisting the urge to shatter it, and reach for my clothes. The shirt feels good on my newly cleaned skin, soft and light. The pants, I find, are incredibly soft and they fit to my legs perfectly. They stretch a little when I move to make it more comfortable. Capitol clothes are strange, but I like these.  
  
I pull on my jacket from home, touching the small pine cone necklace around my neck to make sure it’s still there, and step out into the hall of the train. The train is moving so fast that the trees blur past but I can barely feel it.  
  
I walk quietly towards the dining car, my hands in the pockets of the pants.  
  
Johanna is already there, sitting across from Mila Kaylem who is chatting away with two of the victors who will now act as our mentors. I stand in the doorway until Johanna looks up and smiles at me. She beckons me over and I take the seat beside her. Her hand finds mine and I squeeze it tightly. It’s comforting having her here. As much as I wish that she was back home and away from this place, the feeling of her hand in mine calms my racing heart a little.  
  
“Oh good!” Mila squeaks when she notices me. “You’re here. Johanna, Dath, these will be your mentors.”  
  
She gestures to the four women sitting at the table with us. The youngest of them is only a couple years older than Johanna. She won the Hunger Games five years ago when she was 16.  
  
Mila points to each of the women in turn, introducing them.  
  
Cylee, the youngest who sits across from me, has dark brown eyes and hair to match. Her skin is tanned dark and her arms show which district she’s from--huge muscles from swinging an axe all day.  
  
Tam is blond, probably in her early 30’s, and has an odd twinkle in her eye that suggests she’s much more than she looks. She sure doesn’t look like much. She lacks the muscles of the three other mentors. I can’t remember how she won, but I have a feeling it had a lot more to do with brain than brawn.  
  
The other two, Ella and Mint, are sisters. Twins, if I remember correctly. They won one year after the other. Ella won first and then the next year a frail young girl was picked so Mint took her place. They were definitely the swing first ask questions later type of Victors.  
  
Tam is watching me closely, studying me as I study them. I meet her eye and don’t look away. Neither does she. We stare at each other for a moment or two before a smile cracks over her lips. “I can tell that there is a lot more going on in that head of yours than you would like people to think,” she says, pointing her fork at me.  
  
I blink at her and scowl a little. She just laughs.  
  
“I like you, kid. I could teach you a few things, that’s for sure.”  
  
I’m not sure if I like her much, but given the choice out of the four women sitting at the table, she is definitely the one I would listen to the most. She knows things. She didn’t win the game just by swinging an axe at anything that moved. She thought her way out of that arena, planned for what move to make next. That’s what I need to do. I need to plan. I need to carve a way for Johanna to get home and that’s going to take more than brute strength, which I’m slightly lacking considering my size.  
  
Dinner is quiet. Tam takes me aside after Mila shuffles us off to bed.  
  
“I know what game you’re playing,” she says, sitting me down on one of the couches in the dining car beside her. “You want to help the girl get home. I can tell that you’re not going to play this any other way. You love her a lot, don’t you?”  
  
I don’t answer, but I know she knows she’s right.  
  
“You’re smart for a kid your age,” she says absently, flicking a piece of my hair out of my face. “You’ll do anything to protect her.”  
  
We stare at each other silently before she smiles warmly.  
  
“I’m going to help you get her home,” she says softly.  
  
I blink in surprise. That’s the first time anyone seemed to agree with my being here to protect Johanna. She laughs roughly at the look on my face.  
  
“Don’t look so surprised, kid. That girl isn’t going to get out of that arena without help, I can promise you that. She’s tiny and sickly looking. They’ll try and pick her off first. Make sure that doesn’t happen. You need all eyes on you. Be the center of attention so everyone forgets about her at first. If that happens, you’ll be able to get her away from the starting fray without any problem. You’re small, which gives you an advantage. You can move faster than the other, bigger tributes you’ll be facing. Speed is your best friend. The second that you can step off your platform, run. We’ll talk to Johanna and get her to run as far and fast from the cornucopia as possible. You, on the other hand, I’m sure can get there and out without any problem. I’ve watched you over the years and I know that you can go unseen if you want. Get a knife. That knife will be all you need. It will protect you and the girl and help you with surviving in the wild. We don’t know what kind of place they’re going to dump you this year, but I assure you--you will always need a knife.  
  
“Once you get that, get out of there. Pick off people if they get in your way but do not under any circumstances engage anyone first. Your task is to get away and get to Johanna. Watch where she goes when she runs and follow her. We’ll set up a call for you two so you can signal each other once you’re away. If there are trees, climb. I know you know how to climb a tree. Find water and shelter. You can last a day without water but any more than that is too risky. You need to find water.”  
  
I listen to her, enwrapped in everything she’s saying. She’s really going to help me save Johanna. I instantly decide that I like Tam a lot.  
  
She gives me a few more pointers--distract before attacking, find high ground, ration food and water--before she sends me off to bed. Everything she told me is spinning in my head, making me dizzy. I’m in my bed before I realize it, having walked down the hall in a daze. With Tam’s help, saving Johanna seems all the more possible.  
  
I stare at the wall for an hour, two hours, three, until I sit up defeated and slip out of bed. I’m going to take a night walk around the train when I stop, looking at the cream flowers climbing my wall. I recognize them now. They’re the small bud like flowers of ivy. It’s ironic, I think, that something poisonous is so beautiful.  
  
I turn my head from the flowers and step out of my room, walking down the hall. I stop in front of Johanna’s room and stare at the hard metal of it. I push it open as quietly as I can and slip inside.  
  
Johanna’s room is almost an exact copy of mine except mirror image. The walls are a pale dark red instead of blue but the same cream ivy climbs the corners. Johanna has her back to me, facing the wall. I walk towards the bed and stare down at her. The minutes tick by before she turns, looking at me with a sad smile and unfolds her arms, lifting the blanket so I can slip in next to her.  
  
She’s warm, the blanket sealing in the heat of her body. My fingers are ice cold and she holds them in her own, pressing a kiss to each knuckle. We lay there in silence, taking comfort in each other’s presence.  
  
“Johanna?” I say softly, making her look up at me.  
  
I open my mouth to continue but nothing comes out. I look down at our hands before slipping mine out of hers and wrapping my arms tightly around her. She smiles into my hair, hugging me back. She knows the words I cannot bring myself to say. I know if I do I’ll start crying again. Our days together are limited now. These are the last days I will spend with the woman who I consider my mother.  
  
“I love you too,” she says in response to my silent words.  
  
I fall asleep in her arms, peacefully now that she’s here to scare away the nightmares.

***

“We’re here!” Mila shrieks, jumping off her seat and ushering Johanna and I to the window. I stare out as the train exits a tunnel and moves past a huge, screaming crowd. It’s amazing, how many colours I see. Everyone is dressed in the same ridiculous way that Mila is--bright colours, strange wigs and make up, alterations to their appearance that make them look more like freaks than beauties. They’re waving and cheering for us, blowing kisses and screaming their love. It’s disgusting to me. These people are going to watch 23 of us die for their own entertainment and they’re acting like we’re celebrities. In a way, I guess we are.  
  
I turn from the window when I can’t take it any more, sinking myself into a plush chair across from Tam. She looks up at me with a raised eyebrow and smirks a little.  
  
“Don’t like the attention?” she guesses. I don’t answer, just huff and pull my legs up so I can tuck my knees under my chin. She snorts and looks back down at what she was doing before, knowing she’s right.  
  
I watch her as she stitches small red flowers into a piece of cloth. My eyes follow every move, fascinated by the steadiness of her hand. Tam has nice fingers, I notice. They’re long and thin, making quick movements that my eye can barely follow. I know she knows I’m watching her but she doesn’t seem bothered. The train wheels to a stop, causing me to look up from what she’s doing. Mila is fussing about keeping us on schedule so I stand when she waves for me. Tam stands as well and puts what she’s doing away in a small box, slipping the box into her coat pocket before following me out of the train. The Capitol is even louder now that we don’t have a wall of solid metal and glass in between us. I resist the urge to cover my ears. I hate it here already.  
  
Mila leads us up a set of stairs that lead into the training center. We’ll make our first appearance soon, riding in on the chariots. We first have to meet our stylists and prep teams first. Mila ushers us into a room where they’re waiting for us. She shows me to a small, happy looking woman and three brightly coloured men behind her.  
  
“Dath, this is your stylist, Tilly, and your prep team. Bosh, Dire and Neptune. Make yourselves acquainted and let them make you look amazing!”  
  
She skitters off to go and talk to Johanna and her team. I look up at Tilly and force a smile. “Hello, Tilly,” I say softly.  
  
She beams at me. “Hello, Dath. You’re a brave one, aren’t you? Stepping in for your friend like that.” She gave me a soft pat on the cheek and skittered behind me, pushing me into the hands of my prep team as they drag me away to strip me down.  
  
They make me bathe in some concoction that smells disgusting and makes my skin feel strangely soft. I’ve never felt my skin this soft before so it’s a little odd. They pull me out and put me into some other tub. It doesn’t smell nearly as bad.  
  
“Bosh made the recipe for the baths,” Neptune tells me. “All the prep teams use it now. He’s wonderful with herbs.”  
  
Once they’ve washed me till I’m pink, they dry me off and sit me in a chair. Beauty Base Zero, Dire calls this.  
  
I’m prodded and pulled and kneaded like dough but I don’t complain. Neptune almost faints when he gets a better look at all the scars on my body but they work hard to make them look almost invisible. Can’t look like a beaten child when I ride to meet my adoring fans, now can I?  
  
I’m not sure how I feel about my prep team, they’re so different from anyone that I’ve ever met. I’m pretty sure Neptune has never seen a scar before because he keeps looking at the places that he knows they are and wincing.  
  
“What happened to you?” he asks, only to get smacked on the arm by Dire for asking a rude question. I shake my head. I don’t mind.  
  
“My father got drunk a lot. He hit me whenever he did,” I say, staring straight ahead and feeling Neptune’s fingers still in my hair. Bosh, who had been fixing me nails, looks up at Dire and then back at my hand. Dire looks the least distressed. Neptune actually starts sniffling behind me.  
  
Out of the three of them, I like Dire the most. He has green hair and black swirled tattoos all over his body. He’s fit and manly looking--he has the body type of the workers in District 7. Neptune is the youngest of the three. He has long blond hair that almost goes past his waist. He keeps it up in a high pony tail, so I’m sure if he let it down it would be at least at his thighs. His hair is pulled off his ears, which have been surgically altered to be pointed. It actually looks pretty cool, though the thought of changing your body surgically is something that will never not frighten me. Neptune is a very pretty man. I almost thought he was a woman until he’d started speaking. He has long fingers with perfectly sculpted purple nails which feel good running through my hair. He keeps chattering on about things that seem a tragedy to him but are nothing more than a finger prick to me. I don’t understand him. Bosh is somewhere in the middle of the two of them. He’s quiet. I don’t think that I’ve heard him speak once since I arrived. His hair is short and black. His eyes are the same black. All of his eyes, no whites. It’s a little bit strange to look at. I find myself watching him more than I probably should be just because I can’t get over how creepy it is. He has dark brown skin. It’s natural, not altered.  
  
I blush when he looks up at me, catching me staring. His smile is warm, somehow still reaching his eyes even though he has no pupils. Something about him makes me think of the people I’ve seen in District 11.  
  
“Bosh?” I ask after he goes back to my nails. (He’s working on my feet now)  
  
He looks up again and tilts his head to the side but doesn’t say anything still. “Why don’t you talk?”  
  
Neptune’s fingers grip my hair tightly for a second before loosening. Dire’s brush stills against my cheek. I have the strongest feeling that I’ve said something wrong.  
  
“Bosh can’t speak,” Dire says kindly as Bosh looks back at my nails.  
  
I look up at Dire and frown. He answers my question before I ask it.  
  
“Bosh came from District 11,” he said, continuing to paint on my cheeks and eyes.  
  
 _So I was right about that,_ I think.  
  
I frown. How could he come from District 11? No one from the districts ever came to the Capital for anything other than delivering goods and the Hunger Games.  
  
“He attacked a peacekeeper who’d killed his daughter,” Dire continues. My eyes go wide when I remember another reason people from the districts come to the Capitol. I stare down at Bosh with my mouth hanging open. I felt a horrible crushing weight hang over me. Bosh had seen his daughter die and tried to get revenge. He’d been punished for it. “You’re an Avox,” I say. I don’t mean to sound rude, it just come out. I can’t even imagine what it would be like. He’d had his tongue cut out of his mouth for breaking the rules, taken to the Capitol away from his family to be a slave. “But how come you’re about to… do this. How come you’re living normally here now?”  
  
Neptune sighs loudly, drawing my attention up to him. I reflexively try and look up to see his face but both him and Dire shove my head back into place because I’ve disrupted their work. “He _was_ an Avox,” Neptune said, taking over for Dire. “One year he was serving one of the District 7 tributes and Tilly noticed him playing around with herbs when he thought no one was looking. He’d given them to the female tribute to use in her bath and afterwards she’d raved to Tilly about what Bosh had done. Tilly wasted no time in trying to convince the Capitol to let him become part of the prep team. It took a couple years, but she worked it into existence. Ever since then he’s become famous for his bath mixes and herbal remedies. He lives with Tilly now.” Neptune leaned down to my ear and whispered loudly, “They’re engaged.” He sounded so excited, like he was about to bubble over. I could tell that Neptune was as excited for this wedding as he would be for his own.  
  
By the time they’re done with me I feel raw but I look almost like a completely new person.  
  
My hair has been cut and slicked back off my face. A smudge of dark grey eye liner has been put around my eyes, making them look… What was the term Dire used? Smoky. There are brown and black patterns painted onto my cheeks starting at my jaw and going up in triangles so the point of them stops at my cheek bones. I look probably three years older because of what they’ve done to me.  
  
Tilly comes in once they’ve wrapped me in a robe. She looks me up and down and nods in satisfaction before shooing the others from the room. I notice the small silver ring on her finger as she does and I can’t help but smile. I’m glad that somehow Bosh was able to start living like a normal person again, even if it was in this crazy place and he’d still had his tongue removed. At least he had Tilly and he was happy. Tilly hangs the bag she was holding when she came in on a hook and undoes the zipper. She pulls out a tight looking suit with what looks like scales covering the entire thing. She strips me of my robe and helps me step into it. She takes one look at my pinecone necklace and for a second I’m scared she’s going to take it. I start to move my hand to cover it protectively when she just smiles and continues to zip up my costume.  
  
She takes something else out of a box and fixes it on my head from behind so I can’t see what it is until she turns me around and has me look in the mirror.  
  
I stare at the boy in the mirror, wondering who he can be because he looks nothing like me. The suit I’m wearing, I quickly realize, is made from thousands of small pinecone scales. It’s skin tight and goes up to cover my neck and my hands. It‘s cut off at the ankles, knuckles so each finger slips out, and the top of the neck so my head is free. The neck covers a bit of my jaw so it looks like the marks on my cheeks are part of the costume. On top of my hair is a crown of pine needles. They stand up in a flurry of green, splaying out a little at the sides with tiny pine cones scattered throughout it. I’m not sure whether I like it or not. I feel slightly silly, but I definitely look better than other years tributes did. Since it’s so tight, it hugs every curve of my body and shows off my strong arms and shoulders. I know that I’m extremely strong for someone my age. I’ve been swinging an axe for as long as I could remember and because of it my arms have gotten thick with muscles. Lack of food has kept my skinny, but that doesn’t take away from the abs I’d managed to get. My legs are thick--strong from hours of running around in the woods. This outfit makes me look extremely threatening which I suppose is a good thing.  
  
“I love it,” I say, even though I still haven’t made up my mind about the outfit yet. Whether or not I’m sure I like wearing it, I have to tip my hat (er… crown?) to Tilly for the amazing designing job she’s done. Tilly looks pleased with my response, taking my hand and leading me out of the room where I find Johanna waiting for me. She’s wearing the exact same thing as me except her make up is a little darker around the eyes. Unlike me, the outfit just shows off how tiny she is. I almost wince. It hugs her waist and rib cage. I’m sure there’s padding in it because I know from the times I’d hugged her that she didn’t have that much meat on her bones. Even with the added stuffing, the tightness of the outfit shows off how unready for the arena she is.  
  
She smiles at me, oblivious to my thoughts. “You look amazing,” she says happily. I’m not sure if she’s making fun of me or not but I glare at her anyway. She just laughs and reaches out for my hand so we can walk towards the waiting chariots together.  
  
The rush the people here are giving me is getting to me because for some reason I don’t feel as nervous as I know I should. I can tell Johanna is feeding off of it as well. A lot of the other tributes stare at us as we pass, finding it strange for us to be holding hands and looking so close. It’s like they’re asking, ‘You know you’re going to die, right?’ and I do know I’m going to die, but I’m going to do everything I can to make sure that Johanna doesn’t.  
  
Tilly and Johanna’s stylist, Cap, show us to our chariot and fix us up a bit before letting us climb on. It’s brown and made out of logs which have been cut in half to make a smooth surface for us to stand on, but the outside look like full logs.  
  
“Now remember to smile,” Cap says to Johanna, straightening her crown. “And wave. They love waving.”  
  
Tilly doesn’t say anything to me at first, just looks at me quietly and lets out a soft sigh. “Good luck,” she says, touching my cheek.  
  
They step away as the chariots begin to take their formation. I look out at the chariots in front of me and behind, trying to see the other tributes and get a read on them. There are a couple other young ones, my age or a little older, but most of them are older.  
  
The chariots begin to move, the first two tributes entering into the crowds. Screams erupt through the open doors, washing over me and almost knocking my crown off. It seems like ages before our chariot breaks through the doors. I’m still clinging to Johanna’s hand as we start to wave. I forget to smile because I’m so dazed but I remember when I look up at Johanna and see the bright grin on her face. I force a smile and wave weakly at the groups of people. Some of the girls around my age scream my name and others actually faint. It’s both embarrassing and dumbfounding. What is wrong with these people?  
  
Our chariot pulls to a stop in front of the high podium in front of the Presidential mansion. President Giles, a man who I hate more than anything else, stands from his seat when the last chariot pulls in. He waves to the crowd and waits for them to settle down. He’s wearing a disgusting looking red suit. His hair is grey and thinning, combed back off his face.  
  
“Welcome to the 26th annual Hunger Games!” he calls out over the crowd. The screams erupt again.  
  
He quiets them once more and starts to make his announcement. I’m not really listening. I’m focusing too hard on not passing out on the spot. The costume is hot and there are so many people around me, so many colours. It’s overwhelming my senses. I can’t focus on anything.  
  
It’s not until Johanna squeezes my hand hard and hisses to me to focus that I realize I’m hyperventilating.  
  
I stare at my feet, determined to look strong and not weak like the other children my age. It seems to go on for hours. When he’s finally done and we’re all dismissed, the chariots make one more circle to please the crowd before marching us back into the training center.  
  
We’re swarmed by our prep teams, letting them pull us off the chariot and gush about how amazing we both were. I let go of Johanna’s hand so that Tilly can give me a tight hug. I hug her back, even though I’m still slightly dazed. “You did so good,” she whispered softly, pulling back and brushing a stray hair out of my face. “Let’s get you into something more comfortable.” She takes my hand and leads me away, my team following behind me. I look over my shoulder for Johanna but she’s already being shuffled off by Cap.  
  
They pull me from the heat suit and dump me into a hot bath. It smells like roses. I sink into the water and let them scrub me down again. I don’t mind this as much as I did when I first met them. It’s a little abrasive to have people you don’t know pulling at you and shaping you into what that want, but they’re nice and they have some pretty interesting conversations.  
  
Well, I say conversations, but it’s mostly just Neptune talking a million miles a second and Dire offering a bit of dialog every now and then. Bosh just nods.  
  
Neptune’s sister had her sweet sixteen a couple days ago (the day before my birthday, I notice, but I don’t point it out) and she got a horse and a car as presents but she threw a fit because neither were the colours she wanted. I can’t understand people like that. The thought of being given a horse for my birthday is so beyond my wildest dreams that I would probably pass out on the spot, not cry because it wasn’t the right shade of brown.  
  
I open my eyes when Bosh finishes scrubbing my nails and reaches into the tub to drain it. I force myself to sit up and let them dry me off with one of those big fluffy towels I’m getting so used to. I can see my scars clearly again. I can tell they upset Neptune, but he doesn’t say anything about them again. His eyes glisten with tears though, and I’m not entirely sure why. I’m certain he’s seen a million scars in his life.  
  
Tilly comes in with a fresh pair of clothes for me--soft black pants and a long sleeved blue shirt--and helps me into it. She tells me that she can get my scars all removed for me but I refuse without even thinking about it. I don’t want to look like a new born baby in the arena. I need them to fear me. I know it will be hard to get to that point because of how small and young I am but that’s what training is for. I hope my muscles and skills will prove to them that I’m not someone they should mess with. The scars might help with that.  
  
She doesn’t question why I want to keep them but she turns to my prep team, telling them not to cover them any more. I can’t help but smile at her as I thank her. I like Tilly. She’s a little strange, but so is everyone else from the Capitol. She leads me towards a big steel elevator, Bosh following close behind her. Dire and Neptune have both gone home already but I guess since Bosh and Tilly are engaged that he gets to stay with her in her room on District 7’s floor. Every district has a floor in the training center. The floors are specifically for tributes and their parties. Mila is already in the elevator when we climb inside. There are two people with her. They’re both dressed the same way and they have their heads down. I know what they are. Avox. Slaves. I try not to look at the petite blond who will serve as my personal Avox until the Games. Looking at the two of them makes me think of Bosh and what he had to go through. I hope that somehow these two will have someone like Tilly to save them from this life. I notice that Bosh stands as far away from the both of them as possible. Tilly has her hand in his, squeezing it tightly. I have to look away because the thought of what Bosh went through is almost too much for me and I start to feel sick.  
  
Johanna and Cap meet us in the elevator and we ride it together up to the 7th floor. I swallow hard, not sure what to expect. My eyes nearly bug out of my head when the elevator stops and the doors slide open. The entire condo looks like it was ripped right from the forest. They’ve obviously tried to make us feel comfortable here. It smells like pine and the chairs and table are rough looking and freshly cut. I walk slowly into the apartment and slide my fingers over the surface of the table, smiling when they come off with a thin layer of sawdust. I look around the rest of the room. There are big plush couches and chairs--all brown and green and sandy in colour--around a huge fire place. The fire is burning blue and green and I wonder what they did to it to make it that colour. Johanna comes up beside me and slips herself into one of the chairs. She looks ready to fall asleep. I sit down on the floor in front of her and she instantly starts to card her fingers through my hair. Mila, Cap, Bosh and Tilly take seats around the fire as well, seeing as it’s obvious the two of us aren’t going to move.  
  
“This will be your home until the start of the Games,” Mila says, gesturing her hand around the apartment.  
  
“It’s beautiful,” Johanna says as she twirls a piece of my hair between her fingers. I look up at her and smile. Her hair is down now, not up in a ponytail like it was when she was in her pinecone costume. I notice that they’ve taken a couple inches of length off. I reach up and catch a strand of the soft rusty hair. It’s so soft now that it’s been properly washed and pampered. I wonder if that’s why Johanna still has her hands in my hair. Does my hair feel like that?  
  
The two Avox girls set the table for dinner and bring in plates of food. I didn’t eat on the train because I hadn’t had much of an appetite. The food on the table smells delicious and I suddenly realize that I haven’t eaten since dinner the night before the day of the Reaping. I’d gone two days without eating anything and I was starting to almost feel nauseous I was so hungry.  
  
I stand from the floor and move towards the table, slipping into one of the seats. The others follow. We sit down at the table as the elevator doors open and the four mentors walk inside. I had noticed there were four extra places. Tam winks at me and takes a seat beside me, Johanna on my other side.  
  
We start to eat, the amazing food causing silence. I finish my plate first, getting a second helping right away. I’m stuffed to exploding point by the time Mila calls that dinner is over and we should get to bed if we want to be up ready in time for training.  
  
I take one last look at the food on the table and grab a bun before the food is taken away.  
  
I slip from my seat and give Johanna a hug goodnight before walking towards the bedrooms. My Avox girl shows me to my room and I thank her quietly. I look down the hall before taking her wrist and pulling her into my room with me. She looks slightly panicked, not sure why I’ve brought her inside the room. I hold out the bun to her, waiting until her eyes land on it. She stares at it for a moment or two before looking back up at me with wide, confused eyes. I didn’t know how the treated Avoxs here but I knew that it couldn’t be nice. I don’t know when the last time she ate was but she was startlingly skinny.  
  
“Take it,” I say when she doesn’t move at all. “You must be hungry.”  
  
She looks at the door behind her before looking back at me and shaking her head.  
  
I sigh and take her hand, placing the bun in it and taking a step back. “Just eat it here. I won’t tell anyone.”  
  
She looks down at the bun for another moment or two before taking a deep breath and slowly taking it to her lips. She takes a bite out of it and for a second I catch a glimpse of the inside of her mouth. She really doesn’t have a tongue. I fight to keep my face straight and my food down. She eats the bun quickly, making slightly loud noises as she does because of the extra effort she has to put into eating without having a tongue to help her. She looks back up at me when she’s done and tears well in her eyes.  
  
I smile at her. “I’ll give you some more tomorrow,” I whisper, moving close and taking her hand again. I feel the need to be like Tilly, taking care of these people who were treated like slaves for wanting to live a better life. I knew that this girl couldn’t have done anything to seriously warrant what she’d received as punishment.  
  
She nods and hesitates for a moment before leaning down and kissing my cheek. She turns away from me and slips out the door without another word.  
  
I try to fight the blush off my cheeks and fail. I clear my throat awkwardly even though there’s no one in the room but me and turn to take in my surroundings properly.  
  
My room is almost as grand as the main room. It’s huge, even bigger than the room I had on the train. The walls are pine green and the plush carpet is thick and grey. I shed my clothes and slip into the silk sheets naked, loving the feeling against my raw skin. I’m exhausted but sleep doesn’t come. I lay there for hours, eyes closed.  
  
I can’t stop thinking. Thinking about Bosh and the Avox girl--I don’t even know her name. I keep thinking about what I’m going to have to do. I don’t want to kill people. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to go into an unknown place and have to fight to keep Johanna alive. I have resigned myself to the fact that I’m not coming out of this but I’m terrified. What if I fail? What if I don’t get Johanna out of here? What if neither of us go back and we leave Rule alone all by himself?  
  
I force my eyes open, banishing the thoughts from my mind. I slip from the sheets and climb back into my clothes. I take a deep breath before stepping out of my room. It’s dark in the hallways of the apartment. I make my way into the main room and stop. Sitting by the fireplace are Johanna and Mint. I watch them closely as Johanna braids Mint’s long hair. I stand there until Johanna senses she’s being watched. She turns her head and smiles at me.  
  
“Couldn’t sleep?” she asks, causing Mint to look over her shoulder as well.  
  
I shake my head and walk over when Mint waves me forwards. I sit down in front of the hearth and watch Johanna work at Mint’s hair some more. Mint is watching me closely, the same way that Tam did the first day on the train.  
  
“Try not to think about what you’re going into,” Mint says. It’s the first time I’ve heard her talk since we met. Her voice is surprisingly soft and sweet for the way she looks. “It only makes it harder.”  
  
I nod but I know its impossible not to. 

***

None of us had slept in our beds the last night except for Mila. She looks well rested when she makes her way from her room, stretching and yawning. “Good morning, everyone,” she sings. I don’t even bother to try and smile or greet her.  
  
As the night had gone on, slowly more and more people had filtered out into the main room. Tam first, then Ella and Cylee and Cap. Tilly and Bosh had come in last and sat down by the fire, Bosh with his back to the wall and Tilly sitting against his chest, in between his legs. We hadn’t talked much, just watched the fire and listened as Johanna hummed a soft tune. I joined in once she started singing the actual words. Tam and Cylee had joined in, closely followed by Mint and Ella. Tilly and Bosh had just sat quietly and listened as we sang songs from home. Cap started humming along when he picked up the tune, though he didn’t know the words. Tilly fell asleep in Bosh’s arms and Ella and Mint curled up in a chair together to sleep as well. Cylee was really nice, I found out. She was a quiet person, so she didn’t speak much, but she had a beautiful singing voice. It turned out we both liked to sneak out at night and sit among the trees, listening to the sounds of the night and watching the moon. We had more in common than I thought we did. Tam stitched her flowers and hummed along with Johanna and Cap as Cylee and I talked. I fell asleep with my head on Tam’s lap. By the time I opened my eyes, it was morning.  
  
“Are you ready for training today?” Mila asks as we sit down for breakfast.  
  
I nod, stuffing a bun in my mouth. I’m actually looking forwards to training. I can’t wait until I can start practicing. I need to sharpen my skills before I go into the arena. Mila seems happy with my answer because she starts to talk to Cap about one of the latest fashion don’ts she’d seen on the street the other day.  
  
Tilly pulls me from the table when the rest of my prep team arrives to get me ready for training. We go into my room and they get me to bathe quickly before slipping me into the training uniform. It’s lightweight and comfortable, which it doesn’t look. I’m glad I can move easily in it but I suppose I would have to be able to, since its for practising combat skills.  
  
I meet the others in the elevator which takes us down to the lower levels of the training center which houses both our apartments and the training rooms. I step out into a large room with padded walls and floor. There are dummies everywhere. A couple other districts have already arrived. I can see the two tributes from 2 already hacking away at some of the dummies. District 4 and 11 are down here as well. One of the District 4 tributes is around my age. She looks terrified. The trainer is trying to get her to try fighting with a knife but she’s clinging to something that I can’t see, shaking her head because she’s determined to use that. I realize when she shifts a little that it’s a net. _Did she make that herself?_ I wonder to myself. She is from District 4, which is the fishing district. I wouldn’t put it past her.  
  
The trainer gives up and lets her practise with the net instead. She’s surprisingly good at throwing that thing. She captures a dummy without even looking. _Nice shot,_ I think.  
  
Johanna and I walk into the room, looking around. Johanna moves towards the camouflage station and starts working with the trainer there. I go straight for the weapons, picking up a knife and inspecting it. The trainer who was trying to get the District 4 girl to use the same knife smiles at me and nods, like finally he’s found a decent student to deal with.  
  
He teaches me the proper way to hold it, but I already know all this. He says he’s going to teach me how to throw it, which is supposed to be very hard, so I just toss the knife at a nearby dummy. It hits him in the forehead and the dummy topples over. The trainer blinks at me in surprise and claps. I know about knives and axes from living in District 7. The trainer still seems surprised, but he looks at me more closely and makes out my muscles. He nods, impressed, as I examine the weapons again.  
  
I pick up some throwing axes next and kill about 5 dummies in under 30 seconds without missing once. The trainer leaves me alone after that, realizing that I can handle myself with the weapons.  
  
I’ve caught some of the tributes attention. _Good_ , I think. _Look at me, not Johanna. See me as a threat._  
  
The boy from 2, Jaz, comes towards me. He towers over me, being one of the oldest tributes here. He looks me up and down and scoffs.  
  
“Who knew that the little woodchip had some power?”  
  
His tease barely even fazes me. Short and young I may be--a woodchip I am not.  
  
I want to throw my knife at him.  
  
“I’ve been knocking trees like you down since the time I could stand,” I say, putting as much venom in my voice as I possibly can. I don’t even look up at him. I whip another knife at a dummy which sinks into the target over it’s heart.  
  
It’s not true, of course, I didn’t knock down a tree until I was 9, but he didn’t need to know that. He flinches all the same. He tsks softly and turns on his heels. He walks back towards his fellow 2 tribute, Nell, and the two tributes from 1 who have just arrived--their names are Cotton and Sheen, I’m pretty sure. Nell glares at me hard but I just stare back at her, void of emotion. I hate the career district tributes. They always think that the games are theirs. It’s their biggest downfall. They never expect anyone to be better than them, so when someone shows up who can easily take them down they never see it coming.  
  
I’m glad I succeeded in scaring the careers a little bit, because as strong and fast as I am, they are much bigger than me and just as strong. I had speed on my side but if one of them got their hands on me I wouldn’t stand a chance. I might mess them up a little bit but there would be no way I would make it out without loosing a limb at the very least.  
  
Johanna joins me after a little while. I teach her how to hold and throw a knife. She feels more comfortable with a small axe, though. It’s perfect for her. I make a mental note to grab something like that for her when I get to the cornucopia.  
  
The District 4 girl is named Rachael, I find out from Johanna who had had a good conversation with her at the knot tying station. I look over my shoulder at her and her district partner, Cod. Cod is a little older than Rachael. She’s very pretty, I notice. Her smile seems to light up the whole room. I don’t know what relationship Cod and Rachael have but it looks like a good one. Some of the district’s tributes don’t get along so well.  
  
District 10’s tributes, Alissa and Marcus, are almost constantly squabbling over something. District 6’s tributes, Rust and Katch, seem to be unsure what to do with each other. Rust keeps trying to get Katch to work with him, but she’s stubborn and suspicious of him. I feel sorry for those districts.  
  
After finishing up at the weapons station I make my way over to the knot tying station. I want to get acquainted with some of the other tributes. Mint had given me a lesson last night about making alliances. I hadn’t seen any appeal in it before, knowing that our goals would be completely different in the end, but thinking about it again made me reconsider. Maybe it would be good to have other people on our side. If we did then I wanted the District 4 tributes. I don’t know why, but they seemed to be the type of people that I would be able to work with. I could also protect them for as long as I could. They were both young and not as strong as I was. I don’t know why I had a strong urge to take care of them, I just felt the need to. I didn’t want them being picked off by the careers right away. Besides, if there was any form of water in the arena, then they would come in handy.  
  
“Hi,” I say as I slide into the station beside Rachael. She looks up at me and blushes a little, looking back down at what she was doing.  
  
“H-hi,” she says back. Her voice is barely a whisper and I wonder if she’s always this quiet.  
  
“I’m Dath,” I say, wanting to get her talking. She nods a little, already knowing who I am. I figure as much, since Johanna had been talking to her.  
  
I look up when Cod comes over and gives me a strange look. He’s taller than me, probably no older than 14, and skinny as a rail.  
  
“Hey,” Cod says, nodding at me. I nod back and pick up a piece of string. The trainer begins teaching me but Rachael glares at her so hard that she starts and moves away. I blink at Rachael in confusion. She smiles triumphantly. I couldn’t help but smile with her as she turns to me and takes over teaching me how to tie the knots. She was a good teacher. I had been right, she had made the net all by herself. I could tell that she had been doing this all her life. Her tiny fingers flew so fast I had to ask her to slow down because they just blurred to me and I couldn’t follow. She doesn’t talk much when she isn‘t explaining how to do something, just blushes and smiles. She was cute. She was 12 like me, Cod tells me when she runs off to try throwing a new net that she’d weaved in under 10 minutes. I really like her. I would have to let my mentors know that I wanted to team up with these two so that they could let the District 4 mentors know and work something out.  
  
By that time, all of the districts had arrived in the training room. It was packed full, but I don’t mind. I like watching everyone else while I work. After I’ve mastered a couple knots and I move on to the physical track. I don’t want to show off my speed, knowing that that would be an advantage I would need, so I just climb some things. There were structures made to be shaped like trees and bars hanging from the ceiling. I scamper up the metal tree and swing my way across the ceiling. I was enjoying it a lot, despite myself.  
  
I slowly move back to the weapons station and start tossing knives again. I keep throwing them until my arms start to feel heavy, but my aim never wavers.  
  
A couple more hours of training go by and we’re called to go back to our floors. I’m so drained that I don’t even bother to put the knife in my hand back, I just drop it on the floor at my feet and walk back towards the elevator.  
  
I’m rushed off to my room by my prep team the second I’m back onto the 7th floor. They scrub me down and slip me into pyjamas before pushing me off towards the dining room to eat. Tomorrow we have to prove to the Gamemakers that we’re worth sponsoring. If we get a high rating, people are more likely to pay attention to us. I need to impress them. If I get a high rating then I can use the sponsors to keep Johanna alive.  
  
Dinner is delicious, but I almost fall asleep at the table, I’m so wiped.  
  
I manage to sneak a bun into my shirt and wave for my Avox to follow before Tam carries me to my bed and lays me down under the sheets. I thank her quietly before she leaves.  
  
My Avox girl just stands there and looks at me sadly. I smile and pull the bun out, reaching it out to her. She smiles and rushes forwards, taking it from me and taking a quick bite. She looks down at me as my eyes start to flutter.  
  
“Stay with me a while?” I breathe quietly, my eyes closed. I feel the bed shift after a moment of hesitation. She slips her hands under my head and lifts it from the pillow. She slides onto the bed fully so she’s leaning against the headboard and lays my head on her lap. I feel a rush of warmth run through me. I can’t even begin to imagine what she had to have done, this small girl only a year or two older than me, to have become an Avox. I wonder if she was born into the life. Could that happen? I wonder silently to myself as she starts to stroke my hair with one hand as she finishes her bun.  
  
I start a little when I realize she’s humming. I didn’t know that Avox’s _could_ hum. I guess it made sense, since humming didn’t actually involve the tongue in any way. They could still make sounds, laugh and hum and scream.  
  
She stops when I open my eyes and look up at her. Suddenly I don’t feel quite as tired. I stare at her for a moment or two before smiling.  
  
She’s beautiful. Her blond hair shines in the dim light like gold. Her eyes are so light of a blue that they look like the early morning sky. Her skin is as clear and pale as porcelain. Defined features and angular cheek and jaw bones make her look more like an angel than a slave.  
  
“Please,” I say quietly, “go on. It’s a beautiful tune.”  
  
She smiles down at me and starts humming again. I wonder which district she’s from. Her blond hair and blue eyes suggest District 1 but I don’t even know if there were any Avoxs from the Career Districts. It would make sense though, every district had people who were poor and oppressed and felt like finding a way out.  
  
I start to drift to sleep again, my eyes fluttering closed to the sound of her humming and the feeling of her fingers in my hair.  
  
“I wish I knew your name,” I whisper softly as I drift off to sleep.


	4. Nightmares and New Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 26th Annual Hunger Games are just around the corner. Dath Mason, a 12 year old boy from District 7, finds out that the odds this year are definitely not in his favour. A girl walks into his life and gives him a reason to keep fighting, but it clashes with everything else he had planned. Facing loss, pain, bitter cold and 23 other people fighting for their lives, Dath has to do everything in his power to protect what he cares about most. The thing he is mere days away from losing forever—his family. Even if it means losing himself along the way.

_I'm standing in a huge field. It's covered in beautiful red flowers. I recognize the flowers from somewhere. I try to take a step but my legs feel heavy so I just stay still. It smells amazing out here, like spring back home. I realize where I've seen the flowers before. They're the same type of flowers that grow in the spring back at home. I remember seeing Tam stitching them into cloth. It's so beautiful I almost want to cry._

_I look down, expecting to see more flowers at my feet. I can feel the world shifting around me. Am I dreaming? That must be it._

_The dream shifts and the ground isn't flowers any more, it's blood. It's the same rich red but it's not pretty flowers. I'm standing knee deep in an ocean of blood. I feel my heart rate pick up and I start to panic. Johanna, where is Johanna?_

_I look around, wading through the red liquid that is so thick I feel it start to drag me down. No, no I have to find her._

_"Johanna!" I scream but my voice comes out as barely a whisper. I hear a voice and whip around._

_It's not Johanna. It's a little blond girl, sitting on the top of a pile of something. I squint in the dim. "Rachael?" I ask, moving towards her._

_As she comes into the clear I realize it's not Rachael, it's my Avox girl. She's as pretty as ever in my dreams and here she can talk._

_"Hello Dath," she said with a small giggle._

_I can't help but smile. "Hello," I reply back. "You can talk again."_

_She nods and tilts her head to the side. She stands and starts walking down the mound she's standing on. I still can't make out what it is._

_"Do you know where we are?" she asks. She's surprisingly calm for someone who's now walking into a pool of blood which soaks her white dress._

_I shake my head and stare as she walks towards me. She places two bloody hands on my shoulders and kisses my forehead. The place she kissed feels warm and wet. I reach up to touch it and I realize that what I assumed was lip stick is actually blood. Warm, fresh blood._

_My eyes go wide and I back away from her, only to fall backwards into the blood. I feel it lap up into my mouth. It tastes like metal and salt and I gag. She laughs and the room gets brighter._

_Her face shifts into the face of someone else. I watch as Johanna looks down at me and smiles in the most terrifying way. Behind her is a pile of bodies._

_"Don't forget to hold your breath," Johanna sings as the blood drips out the side of her mouth and she goes pale as a ghost._

_***_

I wake with a start, screaming Johanna's name so loud that my throat is raw afterwards. I feel arms around me and fingers in my hair. I relax against the figure behind me, assuming that it's Johanna. When I look up at her I jump a little, realizing that it's the Avox girl. It takes me a moment to remember that she'd stayed with me last night. She starts to move out of bed when the sound of people rushing towards my room can be heard down the hall but I grab her arm and cling to her.

I look up at her with terrified eyes. She was so different in my dream. I wonder why I'd pictured her that way. She looks at me in confusion and slight panic as her eyes keep flicking towards the door. I pull her back close and wrap my arms around her.

"Don't run away," I whisper, my face against her stomach as I curl against her. She slides her fingers through my hair again as my door bursts open and Johanna, Tilly, Bosh, Cap and my mentors rush inside. They all halt in the doorway when they see me sitting on the bed hugging the shaking Avox. She's terrified for her life, I can see that, but I won't let them hurt her. It was my fault she was in this position anyways. Mila comes running after, delayed slightly by whatever she'd been doing.

"What is all the screaming all ab-" she runs into Bosh's back and blinks in surprise. She peeks around Bosh's back and lets out a loud yelp of surprise.

"What on earth are you doing girl!" she screams, completely aghast.

I move my face from her stomach and glare at Mila. "Don't yell a her!" I shout back, just as loudly.

I sit up slowly. Even with my strange urge to protect this girl, I'm still trembling from my nightmare. The Avox's fingers are still slightly around me as I shift and lean against her shoulder.

"She stayed with me last night because I asked her to. I had a nightmare and she was just trying to calm me."

Mila is muttering to herself about how it's just not done but Tilly glares at her.

"She wasn't breaking the rules," she scolds. "She was just doing what she was told; which, may I remind you, is her job. Now stop your huffing, don't you have a schedule to look over?"

That seems to snap Mila out of her fit. She lets out a little squeak and scampers off to finish scanning the schedule for probably the thousandth time. I wonder if all of the Districts reapers are this strange.

The others file out slowly except for Johanna. Bosh gives me one final look and a small sad smile before following Tilly out and closing the door behind him. Johanna stands there awkwardly, looking like she would much rather be where Avox is than standing there like she is.

I look up at my Avox and smile, moving away from her chest but keeping my hand on her wrist so she doesn't move from the bed. "Stay here," I say softly.  
I slip off the bed and rush into Johanna's arms. She clings to me tightly and kisses my cheek. "What's wrong?" she whispers in my ear soothingly. "What did you dream about?"

I shake my head. I don't want to talk about it. Mainly because the two leading ladies who'd starred in the dream are in the room with me right now. "I don't remember really," I lie. "I just remember… you were dead. It scared me. Sorry I screamed."

She sighs softly and kisses the top of my head. "It's alright."

I look over my shoulder at the girl who is still sitting on my bed. I can tell by her face that she is very much regretting everything that she has been letting herself do while with me. Avox's aren't supposed to accept kindness from the people they're serving.

I look back at Johanna and smile. "I'm fine," I say softly. "Can you… leave me and her alone for a moment? I need to get dressed and I want to talk to her for a moment."

Johanna smiles sadly and nods, moving to the door and giving us both one final look before slipping out of the room. I rush back over to my bed and open the drawers of my bedside table until I find what I'm looking for. I pull out the pen and paper and hold them out to the Avox girl.

"Can you write?" I ask her. She stares at me in shock before nodding slowly.

"Write your name. I want to know what to call you."

She shakes her head violently.

"I won't call you it when anyone is around, I just want to know."

She hesitates for a moment longer before taking the pad and pen from me. She starts to write her name when I quickly ask her to add which district she's from. She pauses another second before continuing. When she hands me back the pad she's blushing a little.

I look down at the paper and read slowly so that the name can sink into my brain. I'll never forget it.

"Juliet," I read aloud, my breath coming out in a short wisp. She was from District 4. Suddenly she reminds me a lot more of Rachael. I wonder for a second if they're related. They look enough alike. They have the exact same hair and eyes.

"Do you have a little sister?" I ask, looking up at her. She blinks at me in surprise and shakes her head.

 _Well, that rules out that theory,_ I think.

"Thank you for staying with me last night. I didn't mean to get you into trouble."

She smiles softly and shakes her head again.

I look down at the pad in my hand and smile. It's small enough to fit into the pocket of her uniform. I hand the pad and pen back to her.

"Keep these. Use them so you can talk."

She looks down at them and her eyes glisten. I think it's a strange thing to cry over at first but then I think that she probably hasn't spoken to anyone in a very long time. I feel my heart swell. Maybe I could do this girl some good after all.

We spend the next hour just getting to know each other. I tell her all about District 7 and I watch over her shoulder as she writes about District 4. I would love to visit, I think to myself. Juliet is wonderful to be around, I realize. We have a lot in common.

She became an Avox because she tried to run away from her district with her older brother and father. Her father gotten shot in the head and her and her brother had been dragged away. She'd only been 10 at the time. I try to imagine getting my tongue cut out at 10 and being forced to be a slave but I can't. It's too horrible to even fabricate. She's 13 now, she tells me.

Probably the most amazing thing she's told me since I gave her the paper and pen is that the first tribute she served was Juniper. I think about Johanna's sister and feel tears well up in my eyes. I make a mental note to tell Johanna that later.

"She was Johanna's sister," I tell her. "I called her Aunt June because she helped raise me."

Juliet looks at me with wide, surprised eyes. She looks down at her paper for a moment before writing two words.

_I'm sorry._

I smile sadly and kiss her cheek.

She starts a little and blushes dark red. Her mouth opens and closes. No sound comes out, obviously, but I had a feeling that even if she could speak, she wouldn't have been able to find words. I can't help but laugh at how cute it is.

"You kissed me first," I remind her but that just makes her blush darker.

Someone's knocking on my door and suddenly our time together is cut short. I feel like someone is gripping my heart when I realize that I'll only spend one more night here before I go into the arena. I want to make the most of that time, seeing as I'll never see her again after that. I make another mental note to see if Johanna can get a way to bring Juliet back to District 7 with her when she returns. Maybe she can request her as a personal Avox. Victors got privileges, right?

I shake my head to clear it and move away from the bed as Juliet slips the pad and pen into her pocket and stands as well. She stands with her head down at the back wall. Tam opens the door slowly and peeks her head in.

"You should probably come eat breakfast," she says, here eyes flicking over to Juliet every now and then. I smile and nod.

"Just let me get dressed," I say softly. Tam nods her head once and leaves, closing the door behind her. I look over at Juliet and smile sadly.

"You should probably go," I whisper. "I'll see you tonight?"

She hesitates for a moment before nodding. She slips out of the door as I make my way over to my massive closet. This one, unlike the one on the train, is packed full of only clothes that would fit me. I guess it's because they actually had time to stock this one after finding out how old the male tribute would be. I slip into some of those blue pants that I really like-Mila told me the material was called denim-and a purple button down shirt. I slip from my bedroom after combing my fingers through my hair to stop it from sticking up.

Everyone is already at the dinner table eating breakfast. Juliet stands beside the other Avox girl near the wall. I resist the urge to acknowledge her.

Sitting down beside Johanna, I reach over and grab a bun. I'm not very hungry this morning. My nightmare has still left my stomach turning in an uncomfortable way that lets me know that food probably wouldn't want to stay down.

I nibble at the corner of my bun as Cylee asks what Johanna and I are going to do for the Gamemakers.

I look at the table as Johanna speaks.

She's going to perform first aid on herself and chop one of the dummies to pieces with an axe. It was a good idea. She was good with an axe in her hand-well, good if she took the other person by surprise. She knew how to swing an axe properly, which was a skill not many had, but her lack of strength didn't play well in her favour. She had always been good at first aid. She'd patched up more people back at home than I could count.

Tam nods, obviously satisfied with this. She looks at me expectantly and the others turn to me as well.

"I was going to run and climb around a little. Throw some knives."

Tam smiles. She'd watched me train the day before and she'd been extremely impressed. Although I'd barely heard half of what she'd said while we were headed back to our floor since I was so exhausted.

I start a little when I remember that I hadn't talked to any of my mentors about making an alliance.

"I want District 4 on my team," I say suddenly, stopping the conversation that has just started up.

Johanna looks down at me and smile. "I do too. Rachael can make a net out of anything and Cod knows more about plants and animals than anyone else I've ever known. Not to mention, if there's water in the arena this year they'll come in handy."

The others seem to consider this for a moment before they nod in agreement.

"I'll talk to their mentors while you two are getting ranked," Cylee says. "See what we can sort out."

I smile and nod, staring back down at my plate. I place my bun down, not feeling well enough to eat even that.

"If they do agree to be on our team, can you tell their mentors to get them to run away with Johanna? I'll get as many supplies from the cornucopia as I can, but those two are so little. I wouldn't want them getting hurt in the brawl."

Ella nods, seeming to agree with me.

"I'm certain running was what their mentors told them to do anyways. I've known Krystal and Ruth for years and they know what they're doing. They wouldn't send those kids into that bloodbath unless they knew how to handle themselves. Which those two obviously don't." Ella sips at her wine gently and I wonder for a moment why she was having wine for breakfast but I don't dwell on it.

Johanna looks down at me like she wants to say something but she isn't sure if she should. I frown at her and tilt my head to the side.

She shakes her head and sighs. "It's just… I know that out of the four of us, you have the best chance of getting to the cornucopia and away without getting hurt. I know you can take care of yourself, but it still worries me."

I smile sadly at her and take her hand in mine. "I'll be fine," I promise her. She nods in understanding and goes back to her meal but she doesn't let go of my hand.

"Make sure to thank the Gamemakers before you leave," Tam said, picking up and apple and taking a bite out of it.

***

My mentors are faster than I thought.

As soon as I get down to the holding room behind the training room, Rachael and Cod come up to me and Johanna and sit beside us. Rachael has that light pink blush on her cheeks again and she reminds me painfully of Juliet. Two beautiful girls who would never grow up to be happy. Well, Juliet would if I had anything to say about it.

I'd talked to Johanna after breakfast about what Juliet had told me. She'd done her best to hold back her tears but I could tell she wasn't so sure what to do with the information. I asked her that if she got out she could try and bring Juliet back to District 7 with her. Johanna hadn't seemed to keen on the idea at first but after seeing my face she'd given in and said she would try to help her if she won. Although I could tell from her voice that she doubted she would win.

I look up at Rachael and smile kindly.

"Krystal and Ruth said that you two wanted to make an alliance," Cod says from beside Rachael. I nod and Johanna jumps into telling them our plan. She looks down at me when she mentions that I'll be grabbing things from the cornucopia. Cod frowns.

"All by yourself?" he asks quietly. We're all whispering because the other tributes are sitting close by but none of them are paying us any mind.

I nod slowly and stare at the ground. I can see Cod and Rachael looking at each other out of the corner of my eye.

"Look," I say, looking up at the two of them. "Neither of you stand a chance in that fight. It's an all out bloodbath every year. 24 tributes hacking at each other over a pile of stuff? You both would be dead in the first 5 minutes. I'm fast and strong and I know my way around a blade. I can get there and out and knock down a couple people on the way. I'm trusting you two to get Johanna away from there. We each have something that the others need. That's why I chose you two. Rachael, you're small and fast and your hands can make anything, from what I've seen. Cod, Johanna told me that you know about all kinds of herbs and animals. We're going to need that if we want to eat. Johanna can cook anything and make it delicious and she has healers hands. I, however, am the brawn. I'll hack down anything that gets in our way, simple as that. I'm stronger than I look."

The three of them stare at me as I talk before looking at each other.

"You look pretty strong, actually," Rachael says with a small laugh. I can't help but laugh too when the other's join in.

The laughter dies the second that the first tribute is called in. I look at Rachael and Cod and see the fear spreading over their faces. I reach over and take both of their hands in one of mine. Johanna takes my other and we sit there in silence as we wait our turn.

By the time that District 3 has gone in, Rachael has started to hyperventilate. I shush her quietly and she suddenly buries her face in my chest, shaking her head franticly.

"I don't want to go in there. What if they don't like me? I'm scared. If I get a low number then the careers will go after me first."

I stroke her hair as Johanna starts to sing a soft tune. Cod watches her with large eyes. I look at him and smile. Most people stop and stare when Johanna sings.  
"They're going to love you," I say softly into her hair as I reach over and take Cod's hand again because he's still shaking. "And if by chance you do get a low score that might actually work to your advantage. They might leave you alone because they think you're not a treat. You'll be able to show them up when the time comes." That seems to calm her a little bit but she's still on edge.

"What are you going to show them?" Johanna asks softly.

Rachael doesn't say anything so Cod speaks up.

"I… I was going to pick out all of the edible herbs and berries from the survival station and then all the medicinal herbs. Separate those two from the poisonous ones. And… maybe do a couple flips."

I frown when he says flips. Rachael pops her head up and suddenly she's not shaking any more.

"Oh!" she says excitedly. "You didn't know? Cod knows physical combat training. He took it since he was little from Ruth. She's one of our mentors. She's really old but still really strong. Cod can do a flip in the air all the way around and land on his feet. He can jump really high too and kick people as tall as Jaz in the nose without pulling a muscle. It's really cool to watch."

I look down at Rachael with slight surprise before turning to Cod. He's blushing darkly and has his arms crossed over his chest. Being praised obviously embarrasses him. Or maybe it's just that Rachael was the one to say those things. I'm sure I would be blushing too if she gushed about me with that kind of look on her face.

"That's really cool," I say, smiling at Cod.

"You're full of surprises," Johanna adds.

We all snap our heads up to the door when we hear the loudspeaker call Cod's name. He's suddenly shaking again. I reach out and grab his hand again, giving it one last squeeze. "If you can really do all that stuff, they're going to love you," I say reassuringly. Rachael throws herself at him and hugs him tightly before we push him towards the door. He looks over his shoulder one last time before the metal doors slam behind him. That's the last time I'm going to see him before the arena.

I look down at Rachael, who has sat down on the bench beside me again. "You alright?" I ask softly.

She hesitates for a moment before nodding.

"What are you going to do?" Johanna asks again, wanting to make Rachael comfortable before she goes and faces the Gamemakers.

She fiddles with her hair for a moment before answering.

"I was going to make a net," she says softly, still combing nervously through her hair. "I'm not really good at anything else. I mean, there's isn't really a pool in there so I can't swim. I know I'm going to get a low rank. All I can do is weave."

I take the hand that's twisting her hair into knots and hold it tightly. "You're going to be amazing. You can make a net so fast that I can't even see your fingers move. It's pretty impressive, Rachael."

She smiles at me a little despite herself.

"Rachael Castle," the voice on the overhead speaker calls out.

She freezes up as soon as she hears her name and Johanna and I have to walk her to the doors because she can't seem to move by herself.

We both give her a kiss on the cheek for luck and practically push her out the doors. "Good luck," I call as the doors start to shut.

"Don't forget to smile," Johanna adds. The doors snap closed and we're suddenly engulfed by the silence. I turn slowly and see all the other tributes staring at us as if we're some kind of freaks. It must be strange to them to see tributes getting along. It's uncommon for tributes from the same district to even get along that well, let alone tributes from different ones. Alliances are just that, alliances. There's almost never any actual friendship there. And why would there be? We're all planning on killing each other eventually anyways.

I'm not going to kill Rachael and Cod myself. I don't think I could do that. But I know that they're going to have to die if it means that Johanna is going to be able to live. The thought sickens me and suddenly I feel the urge to empty the nonexistent contents of my stomach all over the floor. I sit down instead, waiting for the wave to pass.

"They're going to die," I whisper to Johanna when she sits next to me. "They're going to die and I'm not going to help them if they are dying. If they get stabbed or attacked by a career, I'm not even going to go back for them. Because my priority is you… I feel sick."

Johanna puts her arm around me and hugs me close. "I know, Dath," she whispers softly in my ear. "I know it's hard. You can't think about those things now. Just enjoy their company while you can. Contrary to what the other tributes might believe, having actual friends in there only makes your drive to win even stronger. I bet you anything that if one of those careers or any other tribute hurt either Cod or Rachael you wouldn't hesitate to tear that person apart. It's a drive for you. It's why you're so keen to get to the end. Because I'm here."

I think about that quietly for a moment and realize she's right. I was really starting to like Cod and Rachael to the point where I considered them friends. If someone hurt one of them then I would kill that person. Rachael and Cod deserve to live. I've resigned myself to the fact that they're going to die, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to let their killers take another step.

"You're right," I whisper softly.

We sit in silence, my head rested on Johanna's shoulder, as the names are slowly called closer and closer to ours. I'll go first before Johanna. The men always go first. The girl from 6 walks through the doors and I start to feel the dread that Rachael and Cod had been feeling.

"What if I go in there and throw a knife at one of them," I mutter softly. Johanna stiffens beside me.

"Don't do that. If you act out in any way they'll punish you. They won't just kill you, they'll kill someone you love. You have to suck up to them, Dath. Play the game by their rules."

I sigh and bury my face in her shoulder. "I know," I mutter angrily. "But I still wish I could take one of their stupid heads off."

My name is called and I stop breathing. I don't think I can do this. I start to panic internally but I don't let it show on my face. I slip myself from Johanna's arms, kiss her cheek quickly and head towards the doors.

The training room looks exactly like it did before, except exactly opposite me there is a hole in the wall that hadn't appeared to be there before. Inside the hole is rows of plush purple chairs and couches and sitting on them are the Gamemakers. They are the people who controls what goes on in the arena. They are the ones who decide our fates. I try not to glare at them as I walk over to the weapons area. I bow to them and introduce myself before looking at the display in front of me. I look up at the ceiling and over towards the dummies. Suddenly I have an idea. I take as many knives and throwing axes as I can and stuff them into my belt. Putting one knife between my teeth I move over to the climbing area. I take one look at the metal tree and jump straight up. I catch onto a low hanging branch and pull myself up, climbing up the tree quickly from years of practice. It's harder to climb this metal thing than the pine trees we have back home, but I manage to get to the top without having to stop. I have the Gamemaker's attention now. I take this chance to toss my first knife.

I take the knife from my mouth and whip it at one of the dummies on the other side of the room. It doesn't hit exactly where I was aiming. It strikes the chest instead of the head but it's still a killing blow. The dummy topples over. There are a couple gasps and 'ooh's from my audience.

I jump for the bars on the ceiling next, grabbing onto the closest one. I almost loose my grip at first but I cling on tight. I swing my way across the bars, getting closer to the dummies. Pulling myself up so I can hook my elbow over the bar, I let go with one hand and reach down for my belt. I can feel the bar cutting off the circulation in my arm and it hurts so much that I almost want to just drop down but I hold on. I'm going to have a nasty bruise in the morning. I pull two throwing knives from my belt and toss them at the same time from between my knuckles. They hit one of the dummies in the chest and the stomach and it goes down. I swing around some more, creating more bruises and switching to hanging from the other arm. Throwing with my left hand is much harder. I hit a dummy in the shoulder with an axe and it's arm falls off. A little unrealistic, I think, but it gets my point across. My arms are seriously starting to ache now.

I make a split second decision that I'm not sure is going to work, but I try it anyways. Swinging my legs up and hooking one of them over a bar, I twist myself around and catch another bar. I'm hanging upside down by my legs, halfway turned around. It takes a little bit of strained effort but I manage to turn my body around so that I'm upside down hanging by only my knees and facing the dummies. Throwing upside down is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be.

I almost miss with my first knife, slicking one of the dummy's legs, but I make up for it with my next throw which stabs right into the dummy's throat.  
I swing myself up and catch the bar with my hands again, unhooking my legs from the bar and hanging myself down by my hands. I drop to the padded floor, bracing myself for the landing as the Gamemakers clap loudly. It's a little bit of a farther drop than I'd prepared myself for and I feel a twinge of pain flare up in my ankle when I land on it strangely but I manage to keep my face blank. I stand shakily and bow again. "Thank you," I say to the people who are still clapping for me before turning and walking out of the training room.

As soon as the doors close behind me, my prep team is on me and I sink to the floor. My ankle is throbbing.

"What happened?" Neptune shrieks, kneeling down beside me and working my boots off.

"I twisted my ankle but I don't think they noticed."

Tilly tuts to herself softly when she sees the swelling in my ankle. It's sitting at a weird angle and it worries me. What if I really messed it up? It hurts so much now that I can barely see through the pain.

"Let's get you fixed up quickly."

Dire picks me up and carries me into a separate room where doctors swarm me. They put a mask over my face and before I can protest, I feel incredibly tired and I can't fight the sleep the put me under.

***

I wake up in my bed, the silk sheets wrapped around me. I feel like I've been smacked around a lot, but-after testing my ankle-I realize that I'm not in any real pain any more. I sit up and rub my sore arms. I can see the dark purple bruises there and I can feel them on the backs of my knees as well. I guess they hadn't formed yet while they were fixing my ankle and that's why they were still there.

I slip out of bed and wince.

My ankle might be healed, but I still feel like I've fallen 50 feet.

"Ow," I mutter softly under my breath, walking to my closet stiffly.

I change into a short sleeved blue shirt and black denim pants. The others are waiting for me when I get out into the main room.

"How are you feeling?" Tam asks when she notices me. The others turn towards me and Johanna runs to wrap me in her arms.

"I was so scared when I saw Bosh carrying you up to your room after they fixed you up. I thought something horrible had happened.

"I fell off the ceiling and sprained my ankle, Jo, it felt pretty horrible at the time," I mutter softly when Johanna lets me go. "I feel a lot better now, it doesn't hurt any more. I'm really sore though and covered in bruises," I say, answering Tam's question.

"Your ankle wasn't sprained, Dath," Tilly says as she comes over to me to examine my arms. "It was broken. I'm surprised you weren't screaming. The fact that you walked out of there without even limping is a miracle."

I let her fret over my bruises. "Yeah, well, I'm kind of used to pain," I say softly when she lets me go.

She doesn't respond to that, just says that Bosh will make me a pick-me-up and she'll let Dire know about the bruises so he can do something about them when they see me next.

Bosh disappears into another room which I can only guess is the kitchen. I wonder what she means by a pick-me-up. Back home, that almost always meant alcohol and I'd only drank a couple times in my life. Alcohol was gross and bitter and I didn't see the appeal of it at all.

I sit by the fire when Tilly drags me over and pushes me down onto the carpet. There's a huge television above the fire place. Mila looks at her watch and switches the screen on. "They should be announcing your scores any second now. It's a good thing you woke up when you did."

The Capitol symbol flashes up on the screen for a minute while the anthem plays.

Bosh comes back into the main room holding a tray. It has 10 mugs of steaming liquid on it. One for each of us. He hands them out to everyone and saves mine for last.

A pick-me-up, I learn, is coffee. Very strong, sweet coffee. It's delicious. Mine is a different colour than everyone else's, I notice. It's a nice dark green while everyone else's is light brown. Tilly explains that Bosh added some herbs to mine to help the bruises fade and relieve some of the pain. I'm extremely glad he did because as soon as the beverage is through my system I start to feel infinitely better.

Jehovah Merriman, the voice of the Hunger Games, and Cleo Flickerman, the most popular talk show host around today are sitting at a desk on the screen when the Capitol symbol fades at the end of the anthem.

"Well hello there, Jehovah," Cleo says, flashing her bright white teeth. "Are you as excited for this year's Games as I am?"

"Oh yes, Cleo, it looks like a great bunch of tributes this year. I'm especially interested in District 1 and 2's tributes. They look like a good bunch of strong kids. I can tell that they're in it to win."

Cleo nods enthusiastically, her bright pink hair bouncing at her shoulders. "Definitely. Did you see the arms on the boy from 2?" She whistles loudly and Jehovah laughs. I can't hold back a sneer.

"Oh, but you know who I can't take my eyes off of, Jehovah?"

"Who's that, Cleo?"

"Those two tributes from District 7. Dath Mason and Johanna Lest. What a twist. A boy and his sister in law in the arena together? And Dath is only 12 years old and he _volunteered_ to save his best friend. Such a brave kid."

Jehovah shakes his head and sighs dramatically. "What a turn of events, eh? Never has a volunteer that young come out of any district but 1 or 2. It's amazing. I can't even imagine what his thought process was when he raised his hand and said those words. I almost fell out of my chair when I watched the reaping."

Cleo laughs loudly and nods in agreement. "Oh, I know what you mean. I wonder what the Gamemakers thought of him earlier today."

"Well, Cleo, let's find out."

My face is suspiciously blank through their entire conversation. They explain about the scores-1 is the lowest, 12 is the highest. The higher your score the more likely you were to get sponsors. And in the arena, sponsors can be the difference between life and death. When they begin to announce the scores for tributes from 1 and 2 I can't help but grimace. They got pretty high marks. Nell and Cotton both got 9s. Jaz got a 10 and Sheen got an 11. I knew that it was going to be hard to get past them. This really was going to be a tough year.

I hold my breath when they begin to announce District 4. My mouth drops open at Cod's score. 10. I guess that the flips he did really impressed them.

I hear Johanna whisper a soft, "Good boy," beside me and I smile softly. Rachael doesn't do as good, getting scored a 6. It's still better than some of the other kids their age who come after them. It doesn't matter much how low a score she gets because I know that with Cod, Johanna and I there to protect her, she's not going to be in much danger in the beginning. As long as she gets away from the cornucopia safely then she'll be fine.

Johanna reaches over and grips my hand when they get to District 7.

I hear the reaction to my score before my brain even processes what's on the screen.

I got a 12.

Johanna's hugging me and whispering that she knew I could do it. Cleo is whooping on the television, saying she knew that I was one to look out for. I shush Johanna and point to the screen when her number comes up.

8\. That was the perfect number, I think. High enough that they won't see her as completely useless but not high enough for her to be a real threat.

She kisses my cheek, not caring about her own score. They're still celebrating for me.

Mint picks me up and spins me around when I stand. I get a little dizzy but I laugh with them anyways. I look over and see Juliet standing by the back wall beside the other Avox girl. She's smiling at me. I grin widely back at her. She lifts her pad of paper and I have to squint to see what it says.

_I knew you could do it._

I blush darkly and look away before anyone catches me looking at her.

I can't wait to tell her that she's might be getting out of her when Johanna wins. If Johanna can pull enough strings and play it right, she might be able to save Juliet from this life.

We eat dinner and head to bed. There's a lot of talk during dinner about the interviews with Cleo Flickerman tomorrow but I don't speak. I'm still slightly shocked about my score. No one ever got a score that high. I'm not sure what the Gamemakers were trying to do when they gave me a score like that. I couldn't have been that impressive, could I? Maybe they want to get everyone against me because that way it will add more dynamics. A 12 year old boy fighting to save his brother's fiancée isn't heart breaking enough, apparently. They have to add the fact that everyone now wants to kill him more than anyone else. If I die then no one would be there to protect Johanna. I couldn't let her die.

Juliet follows me to bed silently. The others don't even notice her. I'm not sure what it is about Avoxs but they went unnoticed by almost everyone. It was like they weren't even there.

I had grabbed another bun from the table for her along with an apple. I watch her as she eats, sitting on the edge of the bed beside me.

I change my mind about telling her. If for some reason Johanna can't get her out then I wouldn't want her hope to be crushed.

"This is the last time I'm going to see you," I say softly once she's done eating.

She looks up at me slowly, the sadness plain in her eyes. She takes out her pad and pen and writes down a quick note.

_But what if you win?_

I shake my head and look down at my hands. "I'm not going to win, Juliet. Johanna is. I'm going to make sure of it."

Juliet sets her pad on her lap and stares down at it. I look over at her out of the corner of my eyes and feel my heart stop in my chest.

There are tears glistening in the corners of her eyes. Was she crying for me?

She starts writing again; this time slowly, calculating her words carefully.

_You're the first person who's ever spoken to me like I'm human. You're the first person who's cared._

She puts the pad back on her lap before I can say anything and flips to a new page, starting to write something else.

_I don't want to lose the only friend I have._

I let out a soft sigh and wrap my arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. She's shaking with the effort not to cry. I try and imagine what it would be like to finally find someone who cares and then lose them in only a couple days. My heart throbs painfully in my chest as I wrap my other arm around her and hold her close.

I'm reminded strangely of Rachael shaking in my arms only a couple hours earlier. They did look freakishly alike. I still don't believe that they're not related. Maybe they're cousins or something. Or maybe blue eyes, blond hair and cute petite figures were just common in District 4.

"I'm sorry," I whisper into her golden hair. "I wish I could stay with you."

She just sobs quietly into my shirt. It's still strange to me to hear her making sound. Even though I know it was just her tongue she'd lost, not her vocal cords, I had expected Avoxs not to be able to make any noise at all.

We stay like that, Juliet curled up at my side with her head against my chest, until I feel her relax a little. Her sobs quiet down until they stop completely. It takes me a moment or two to realize she's fallen asleep. I slip off of the bed, laying her down on the blankets. She stirs a little but doesn't wake. I pull back the silk sheets and move around to pick her up. She's so light, it almost feels like she doesn't weigh anything at all. I lay her down on the bed and pull the sheets up over her.

After bathing myself quickly, I slip into a pair of cotton pants and shirt and climb gently into bed beside her. My hair is still slightly damp and it leaves a dark mark on my pillow. I watch Juliet's chest rise and fall as she breathes. She looks so content in sleep. I wonder if that's what I look like when I'm sleeping. I move close to her and put my arm over her, closing my eyes and letting out a small relaxed breath. I'm almost asleep when I feel her shift, moving closer to me until she's pressed against my chest. I tighten my arms around her and take comfort in her warmth. I've always been the one to be held when I slept. I'm so small, I disappeared in most people's arms. But Juliet was just as small as me. She was my height. She lacked all the physical strength I have, though. Her arms and waist are tiny. She fits perfectly in my arms. It's strange being the one to hold someone. It was oddly relaxing. I feel stronger than I ever have and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I'm protecting her-shielding her from all of the awful things in the world that want to hurt her.

I wish I could come back to her. I wish I could save her. I wish that I wasn't going to walk straight to my death willingly and leave her behind. Hopefully Johanna will look after her, but it still breaks my heart to have to abandon her. I wish we could stay like this forever, curled up together without a care in the world. I want this moment to last forever. After my interview tomorrow, I will never see her again. I wonder if she's going to watch the games. Do Avox get to watch them? Probably. The Capitol still wants to strike fear into the hearts of everyone they rule over, including their slaves.

Will she watch though? Will she sit there silently and see the horrors play out on the screen? Will she still watch when I die? Or will she turn away?

I squeeze my eyes shut and hold her tightly.

 _Please,_ I pray silently. _Please let her be safe. Please protect her and let her live again. She's only 13. Please keep her safe._


	5. Wolf and Winter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 26th Annual Hunger Games are just around the corner. Dath Mason, a 12 year old boy from District 7, finds out that the odds this year are definitely not in his favour. A girl walks into his life and gives him a reason to keep fighting, but it clashes with everything else he had planned. Facing loss, pain, bitter cold and 23 other people fighting for their lives, Dath has to do everything in his power to protect what he cares about most. The thing he is mere days away from losing forever—his family. Even if it means losing himself along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to be much longer but it refused to be written so it's a lot shorter than the other chapters. At least now we're getting somewhere! Sorry it took so long to update, but I have gotten a lot of the rest of the story already pre-written so updates should (hopefully) come faster from now on.

I wake up to the sound of humming. I open my eyes slowly and look up at the figure above me. My hand reaches up and touches her cheek softly.  
  
Juliet looks down at me and stops her humming, smiling a little and taking my hand in hers. He kisses my knuckles and I blush darkly. I have my head in her lap, the blankets curled tightly around my body. I look around the dark room and force myself to sit up. I don’t want to do my interview today. I don’t want to leave Juliet. I turn around and look at her, still holding her hand. I don’t know what to say so I say nothing. I just look at her fingers, tracing lines over her knuckles.  
  
There’s a knock at my door and I want to ignore it but I know I can’t. Juliet slips out of my bed and away from me, disappearing into the shadow of the corner. I sigh softly and turn towards the door just as it opens. Mint peeks her head inside and smiles when she sees me.  
  
“It’s time to get ready for your interview,” she says softly, her voice both reassuring and sympathetic at the same time. I’m not sure how she does that.  
  
“Okay,” I whisper hoarsely. I wait for her to close the door before I stand from my bed and move towards Juliet. She’s trying to make for the door but I stop her, grabbing her arm and pulling her against my chest. I hug her tightly, not wanting to let her go.  
  
“I’m sorry I have to leave,” I whisper softly into her hair. “I’ll try and find time to come see you again before I have to go into the arena.” She grips the back of my shirt and buries her face in my shoulder. I stand there, stroking her hair gently for almost a solid minute before I know that I have to go get ready.  
  
I pull back from her and smile softly. “I’ll see you later, okay?” She looks unsure but nods anyways.  
  
I watch her leave the room and heave a sigh when the door clicks behind her. I walk into my huge closet and throw on a pair of pants and a shirt without really looking at them. I’m not going to be wearing them for long anyways, since my prep team and Tilly are going to strip my down soon.  
  
I walk out of my room and am instantly surrounded. I probably didn’t even need to change out of my pyjamas because Neptune grabs my arms and pulls me towards the elevator. He practically throw me inside, tutting about how I’m going to be so late. I watch him out of the corner of my eye, wondering if the others are already down in the prep room waiting for me. I suddenly feel like I’m burdening people a lot more than I should be.  
  
“I’m sorry for sleeping in,” I say, still gazing at him through my bangs.  
  
He looks at me, a little surprised as if he didn’t know that he was saying anything out loud.  
  
“Oh, don’t worry, Dath. It’s no problem. You don’t have to be onstage for another three hours.” He sounded slightly sarcastic, but I wasn’t sure if people from the Capitol even knew what sarcasm was or that it was rude so I brush it off.  
  
Three hours and he was talking about being late. Three hours was enough time for me to visit Bailey, chop down a few trees, sit alone on my rock and still be home in time for dinner. What in all of Panam could take three hours?  
  
As soon as I walk into the prep room, I realize why three hours isn’t a lot of time. They’re stripping me down to Beauty Base Zero again.  
  
I let them rip me out of my clothes and dunk me in the odd concoctions that Bosh makes. These ones smell a lot nicer than the first batch.  
  
“Why do you always have to do this?” I ask while Dire rubs me down with a fluffy white towel. He smirks at me and tosses the towel over his shoulder. He wraps me in a robe and sits me down in the make up chair.  
  
“Because, Dath,” he says as Bosh grabs my hand and Neptune attacks my hair. “if you’re not at Beauty Base Zero then when we pack you over with make up you’ll feel like you’re wearing a house on your face. We need to scrub _everything_ away so there’s no extra anything on your skin below the make up.”  
  
I scowl a little and watch Bosh shine and shape my nails as Dire picks up his make up pallet.  
  
“I still feel like I’m wearing a house on my face,” I mutter under my breath. Dire laughs as he paints my face. “Yes, but it would be a lot worse if we didn’t do that first.”  
  
I don’t argue with him. I have a feeling he’s right.  
  
They pluck at me for almost thirty minutes before Tilly comes in with my outfit. She smiles when she sees me and claps her hands with delight. “Ooh, Dath, honey, you look amazing and you’re not even finished yet.”  
  
I stand from the chair and walk towards her as she unzips the suit bag which she hung on a hook. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I can see all my scars this time. Dire almost made them look more prominent, since he’d packed me heavily with make up but avoided the scars. There’s only a small amount of eye liner in the corners of my eyes to give them more depth as Dire put it. My hair is slicked back like it was in the chariot parade, but it’s slightly to the side this time, making it look more like I’m trying to pick up a date than I’m some scary freak in a tree costume.  
  
I move my eyes to the suit that Tilly pulls out of the bag. This costume, I like much better.  
  
It’s a simple dark brown suit with a matching vest and shirt. The tie is a beautiful pine green and the shoes are slick and black.  
  
“I like it,” I say and this time it sounds genuine to my own ears. Tilly smiles widely and helps me into it. There are so many layers, I’m sweating before she even puts the jacket on but she assures me it will be a lot cooler in the studio. I chew at my lip and take a deep breath. I still feel like someone else. I don’t look like me; not really anyways. I look like an older, more mature, more privileged version of me.  
  
“Ready to go?” I hear Tilly ask from the doorway. “Johanna is waiting for you.”

***

Waiting is so nerve wracking I feel like I’ll choke on the tension flowing through me. Johanna squeezes my arm and shushes me quietly. I can tell she’s just as tense as me though.  
  
Johanna will go first. I chew my lip. We have no idea what Cleo is going to ask us so there’s no way to prepare. Cylee said that we should just be ourselves and smile and try and act like we’re happy to be here and be confident. I felt like none of those things were even possible right now. I could barely be myself around strangers when I was at home, let alone in a foreign place in an outfit that made me feel like a different person.  
  
I see Johanna shaking a little as the boy from 6 talks on the small screen they put backstage so the tributes can see where they are in the show. I reach out and take her hand comfortingly, stroking my thumb over her knuckles. “You’re going to be amazing,” I whisper to her as they call her name. She is still incredibly nervous but she smiles. Her hand slips from mine and she makes her way onstage, looking out over the vast sea of people in the audience.  
  
I hear the sounds of approval from the crowd when they get a look at Johanna’s dress. I’ve been so caught up in my own musing that I hadn’t even really taken in Cap’s work. It really is a beautiful gown. The stage lights make it even more stunning.  
  
It looks like she’s wearing the forest.  
  
The base of the dress is a dark forest green with the faintest design of brown climbing branches all up the sides to the bust. It flares out at all angles, flowing as if it was made of a mixture of smoke and falling snow. The material looks so thin and light, like it would fall apart at a touch.  
  
“So, Johanna,” Cleo starts, smiling sympathetically at Johanna and leaning over in her seat when Johanna sits down beside her. “I have to ask. Coming here with your brother in law… that must be incredibly hard for you. And he volunteered too. Does that not scare you?”  
  
Johanna looks at her hands for a moment or two, sliding her fingers over the embroidery on the dress.  
  
“It scares me more than you will ever understand, Cleo,” she says, looking back up at Cleo and smiling painfully. The crowd ‘aw’s in unison. I feel my heart constricting in my chest.  
  
“Dath is like a son to me,” Johanna continues, her voice quiet but strong. “I’ve known him since he was a baby.”  
  
I have to close my eyes for a moment. I didn’t want to watch or listen to this. I was going to cry and ruin my make up and get scolded at by my prep team.  
  
Cleo nods, her face showing a look of dramatic pity. “I understand that your sister was in the games a couple years ago as well. Juniper Lest. Do you all remember her?”  
  
The crowd voices a resounding yes.  
  
“She was a lovely girl. I’m sorry she didn’t win. I would have liked to see that. She was my favourite.”  
  
I try to hold back a snarl and I can tell Johanna was doing the same because the smile on her face was so comically fake you could almost see the lightning bolts coming out of her eyes.  
  
“Yes,” Johanna says, still smiling. “Now Dath and I are here. Looks like the odds aren’t really in my family’s favour.”  
  
Cleo tuts and shakes her head. “Oh no, I’m certain one of you two will make it this year. I can tell you two are the type. You’ve got something planned. I look forwards to watching it.”  
  
Johanna nods her head in thanks. “I’ve got nothing planned, but I can’t say the same for Dath. He’s always had some grand scheme brewing around in his brain.  
  
 _You don’t know how right you are_ , I think, screwing up my face and looking at my feet.  
  
Johanna’s time was up. Cleo calls Johanna’s name once more to the audience who clap and cheer. Johanna walks offstage and begins to shake furiously again. I rush to her and grab her hands. “You did amazingly,” I whisper as I see tears forming in her eyes. She smiles weakly and lets Mila and Tam pull her away.  
  
I stare up at the stairs and take a deep breath. This is it. I had to prove myself, get the attention of the crowd and make people love me. I feel my heart in my throat, knowing that my zero social skills aren't really going to help me at all. I walk out when my name is called, planting a smile on my face that I hope doesn’t look too fake.  
  
I sit down in my chair once I’ve took a second to wave at the crowd. Cleo jumps right into questioning me, wanting to get as much in as possible in the three minutes each tribute is allowed.  
  
“Dath Mason,” she says, so overly excited she can barely stay in her chair. “How does it feel to be the first ever volunteer your age? I did my research and you are the only tribute to ever volunteer at the age of 12. You’re so young, why did you decide that this was something you were going to do?”  
  
I look at my hands for a moment, the bright lights of the studio blinding me.  
  
“My best friend was called. I wasn’t going to let him go into the arena. He can barely fend for himself against schoolyard bullies. In the wilderness surrounded by 23 people all trying to kill him? He wouldn’t last three seconds. I’m a lot stronger than he is. I’m faster as well and I know how to use most weapons. I figured I had a pretty good chance of winning, or at least getting far.”  
  
The words are coming out of my mouth with a strong confidence that I didn't know I had. I don’t know how to control it so I let it control me. This is better than floundering for words, even if I sound like a different person. Make people like you, that was the rule.  
  
“But…” I continue, pausing for dramatic effect and because I know I need to choose my words carefully. I can’t give away too much of what I’m trying to do, not with the other tributes still watching. “Johanna is in here with me. Right now my main focus is to make sure she doesn’t get killed. I have no clue what we’re going to do when we get to the end. There's only one victor, right?” My face paints a clear picture that I know exactly what I’m going to do when we get to the end and it doesn’t involve me going home to see my brother. The audience doesn’t seem to know what to do with that. Some of them are actually crying.  
  
Cleo nods solemnly. “Yes, only one victor,” she agrees, looking out sadly to the audience. “You’re a very brave kid, Dath. Johanna is lucky to have you.”  
  
I can’t help but smile a little at that. It makes me feel both happy and sad. “Thank you,” I say softly.  
  
Cleo looks out at the audience cheekily before turning back to me. She makes a swift and clear change of subject.  
  
“Dath, before you go, I must ask. You’re just of that age where you’re starting to notice girls. So tell me, is there a pretty little girl you have your eyes on?”  
  
I blink at her in surprise and blush darkly. She can tell from my expression that there is. I can’t tell her anything about the girl though, because technically my even speaking to her was highly illegal.  
  
“I, uh… I guess you could say there is,” I say softly. “She, um… saying goodbye was hard.” That’s all I say because my throat closes up and a clear picture of Juliet flashes in front of my face. I barely knew her at all but I was so drawn to her that it was almost painful to be away from her. I still want to see her again before I went into the arena.  
  
Cleo nods sadly. “I can understand why.” She doesn't push anything about how if I won then we would be together again because she had already seen that I didn’t plan on going home at all.  
  
My time is up and I wave again as I walk offstage. I’m engulfed in Cylee and Tam’s arms as they pull me back into the room behind the waiting room where Johanna is sitting with her fingers curled around a cup of coffee. “That was amazing,” Tam says, staring at me in awe. “You sounded like a completely different person, where on earth did that come from?”  
  
I look at the coffee in Johanna’s hands again and feel the sudden urge to ask for one of Bosh’s pick-me-ups. A cup is thrust into my hands on cue, Bosh smiling at me and winking. I melt into a plush seat and inhale a whiff of the steaming beverage.  
  
“I don’t know,” I say, answering Tam’s question. “I just started talking. I don’t much feel like myself either, honestly.”  
  
“You look very mature,” Johanna pointed out from her seat beside mine. “It suites you, although it’s very different from what I’m used to.”  
  
I smile at her and take a sip from my cup.  
  
“Is there any time to go back to the apartment before we have to go prepare?” I ask, looking up as I remember Juliet.  
  
Mila looks as if she wants to explode with the prospect of changing the schedule but Ella smiles and nods. “Of course, Dath. You go take as much time as you need. We’ll work with Johanna until you get back. I doubt you’ll need much coaching anyways.”  
  
I smile widely and drink the rest of my coffee quickly. “Thanks,” I say, rushing towards the elevator and pressing the button for level 7. 

***

I rush into the apartment when the elevator doors slide open. My lips part, posed to shout, before I stop myself and slap a hand over my mouth. I shouldn't be screaming in here, and definitely not screaming the name of an Avox. I blush a little at my lack of thinking and move towards the back room that I assume is the kitchens.  
  
I was right that they were kitchens, but I wasn't expecting them to be as extensive as they were. I stare around the room, my mouth slightly agape. There's no one inside that I can see, but there is a back room which says 'Staff Only'. I move through the pristine white room towards the door, slowly so I can take in everything that is around me.  
  
The walls are painted so bright a white that they look like snow. The room is about as big as the dining room, white marble counters at almost every wall. There are three stoves; huge grey metal machines which look a little like they want to eat me. I move past those quickly. The fridge is just as large, if not larger; two tall metal doors rising almost to the ceiling. I slide my fingers over the steel counter island in the middle of the room as I look up at the many many cupboards surrounding the room. Some are so high up that you'd need a ladder to even brush the bottom of it, let alone reach anything inside. I notice a tall ladder stuffed in the corner of the room which confirms my suspicions. I can't believe that this was here this whole time. There is probably enough food in this kitchen to feed an army. I gulp a little and stop in front of the door at the back. I wonder if I should knock, but forgo that plan and just turn the doorknob slowly.  
  
I'm not sure what I was expecting but it wasn't this. My eyes open wide when I see the tiny, dark room with two futon beds stuffed along one wall and a toilet and sink along the other. I feel my insides curling with anger. There's shuffling beside me as someone moves but I almost don't even notice. “They make you live like this?” I ask softly to no one in particular. This was worse than my cabin back home. There are no windows in here, no mirror, no blankets. It's freezing and the floor is horribly dirty. It looks like this room hasn't been cleaned since the first Hunger Games.  
  
I turn finally to look at the two girls standing in the corner of the room beside the beds, staring at me with a mix of shock and horror. I open my mouth to say something but Juliet rushes towards me and slaps her hands over my mouth, pushing me out of the room and slamming the door behind her. She plasters her back to the door, arms spread out to block me from going back inside, not that I was planning on it. She messes with her clothes before pulling out the pad of paper and pen I'd given her. She scribbles down a couple words and shoves the pad in my face.  
  
 _WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?_  
  
She'd written it in all capital letters. Her face exaggerated how horrified she was. I frown a little and take the pad from her, stuffing it back into her pocket along with the pen and grabbing her hand. I pull her away from the door, towards the island counter. I turn to face her when we're standing in the middle of the room.  
  
“I came to see you,” I say, not sure if I'm angry or frustrated or just overwhelmed. “I wanted to see you one more time before I went into the arena.”  
  
She just looks at me. She doesn't reach for her pad again, just stares. I take this time to take in her appearance. She's been crying. I can tell because of the streaks on her cheeks from where her tears have fallen. I reach out slowly and try and wipe away some of the marks. Her face is still wet, she's probably only just stopped crying. Was she crying for me? I take a deep breath and let it out slowly.  
  
“I'm sorry,” I whisper, my hand moving back and dragging through her blond hair. “I didn't mean to upset you.”  
  
She shakes her head and slaps my hand away. I can't help the little sting that goes through my chest.  
  
“I really didn't mean anything by it,” I say, wincing when my hurt feelings come across in my voice. “I didn't know it was going to be like that. If I'd known...” I stop talking and close my mouth. I'm not sure what I would have done if I'd know it would be like that, actually. Would I have knocked and waited for her to come out? Would I have stormed in and demanded she tell me what other horrible things they were doing to her? Wasn't cutting out her tongue and forcing her to work as a slave bad enough?  
  
I bite my lip to stop any of these questions from coming forth.  
  
Juliet rolls her eyes and lets out a loud sigh.  
  
I can't help but smile when she gives me a very sassy look; hand on her hip and one eyebrow raised.  
  
“I know I shouldn't have come in without knocking,” I say, wringing my hands together and staring at my feet. “I was just so excited that I got a chance to see you one more time that I wasn't thinking properly.”  
  
I look back up at her and catch her watching me closely. She blushes and looks away quickly, hands folded over her chest tightly.  
  
We stand in slightly awkward silence for a moment or two before something dawns on me. I startle her a little when I grab her wrist and pull her out of the kitchen at a run. She lets out a small yelp of surprise when she almost trips over the carpet and ends up clutching the side of my shirt to keep herself upright. I laugh softly, steadying her before I lead her towards the couch; slower this time.  
  
I pull her down beside me and reach into my shirt.  
  
“I have something for you,” I whisper softly, pulling the pinecone necklace that Rule gave me out of my shirt. I pull it over my head and hold it out to her.  
  
“My brother made this for me. I want you to have it. To remember me.”  
  
She stares at the necklace, eyes shimmering, before shifting her gaze up to my face. Her mouth opens and closes a couple times and I have a feeling that even if she could talk, she wouldn't have been able to form words.  
  
I slip it over her head while she's still floundering for something to do. I pull her hair out from under the rope and let it fall back down around her shoulders. “It suits you,” I say softly, looking down at her with a small smile.  
  
The tears finally break free of her eyelashes and slide down her cheeks. I wipe them away with my thumb, gazing at the small wood pinecone resting against her breast bone.  
  
I tear my eyes away from it and look back up at her when she starts to shake her head violently. She tries to pull the necklace off her neck but I grab her wrists, stopping her. Her lip trembles a little and she meets my eyes.  
  
“I want you to have it,” I whisper again.  
  
She looks like she still wants to protest but she nods instead. I smile a little and tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear.  
  
“I have to go,” I whisper, looking up at the huge clock on the wall behind the dining room table. “Someone is probably going to come looking for me soon.”  
  
Juliet sniffs softly and nods again. Her fingers wrap around the pinecone, holding it gently. Our eyes meet again and I feel my chest tightening.  
  
My body moves before my brain has time to catch up with it. I lean in and press my lips gently against hers, eyes closing. The kiss feels like it lasts hours but in reality it's only a couple seconds before I pull away.  
  
Her eyes are wide, her lips parted slightly in surprise. I smile and stand from the couch. My hands are shaking but I tighten them into fists so it doesn't show.  
  
“Goodbye,” I whisper softly, turning on my heels and rushing towards the elevator.

***

“I'm not good at whistling.”  
  
We're sitting around a small table in one of the back rooms of the training room where the mentors are supposed to give final lessons to their tributes. We're trying to figure out a call that Johanna and I can use to find each other when we're separated in the arena. I'm trying to be helpful and pay attention, I really am, but my mind keeps wandering up to the 7th floor where Juliet is. I kissed her. My heart still pounds when I think about it. I've never kissed a girl before that moment.  
  
“Dath?”  
  
Tam's voice snaps me back to reality.  
  
“Hm?” I hum absentmindedly. Tam looks at me hard, obviously extremely annoyed.  
  
“Dath, you have 2 hours before you enter the arena and you're not paying attention. Now come on, think. We need a call. Johanna can't whistle so that option is out. I know you've got a wiz-kid mind in there somewhere Dath. _Think._ ”  
  
I let out a soft groan and let my head fall onto the hard wood of the table with a loud _thunk._  
  
I think, because Tam told me to, but I'm not really sure what she wants in the way of a call. Something loud but subtle. Something that will carry over distance but not alert other people to our position.  
  
I gasp suddenly, sitting up straight.  
  
“Lunch time!” I practically shout. Tam groans and drops her head into her hands in exasperation but Johanna understands. Her face lights up into a bright smile and she cups her hands over her mouth and lets out a low, long wolf call. Tam uncovers her face instantly and gazes at the both of us with wide eyes.  
  
“Dath, that's brilliant!” Tam yelps, throwing her arms into the air in triumph.  
  
A wolf call. It carries far and doesn't alert suspicion, especially if the arena this year is somewhere that wolves could live. I can't believe I didn't think of it before, seeing as I hear it every day back in 7. Johanna made lunch for the workers every day and she would signal their break by howling like a wolf. It was such an amazing feeling, hearing one lone wolf howl which was always followed by dozens more coming from the workers, letting Johanna know they were coming. If I wasn't in the forest it was how I always knew when it was time to head over for lunch. You could hear the calls all around the district.  
  
“Well, now that we've got that sorted, I think you two are ready to go to your prep teams.”  
  
I groan a little and pout. Tam just laughs and stands from the table. “They're not going to poke you too much today. No make up required.”  
  
I look up at her and nod, watching her walk out of the room before I look over at Johanna. She's smiling at me knowingly.  
  
I smile back at her, the comfortable silence wrapping around us nicely.  
  
“You're gonna be fine, you know that right?” I whisper, my head tilted slightly. She chuckles and nods.  
  
“With you on my side, I doubt anyone will be able to get near enough to hurt me. You sure are a stubborn one.”  
  
I smile proudly and nod my head, causing her to laugh harder.  
  
“Come on, Tilly's waiting for you,” she says, standing from the table with a fond shake of the head. 

***

Tilly was waiting for me, I find, as I walk into my launch room. She looks worried but she's smiling. I'd spent almost two hours in my prep room, my team getting me ready for my 'big day'. I had forgotten how terrified I was when I'd been talking with Johanna and Tam but now that I'm standing in the dimly lit sterile room I can feel my insides trying to tie themselves into knots.  
  
“Are you ready?” Tilly asks, walking over to me and fussing over my clothes. She slips a heavy fur coat onto my arms and ties the clasps. I'm wearing thick white pants with brown and black highlights and a warm fur lined hat with flaps that come down and cover my ears. The coat is made out of what I'm guessing is wolf. The fur is grey and white and brown. It's a beautiful coat but it's extremely hot in the warm launch room. The clothes give me an idea of what the arena might be like. Cold, for one thing. I'm glad it will at least be something that will give me an advantage. I'm used to the cold, since the winters in District 7 last almost the whole year and can be deadly at their worst. My hands are shaking in my fur gloves but I plaster a smile on my face anyways.  
  
“As I'll ever be,” I whisper, shuffling my heavy boots on the white ground.  
  
Tilly nods and stops fiddling with the clasps of my coat. “Good,” she breathes. “Now you make sure you come back to me, you hear?”  
  
My smile slips from my face and I stare down at the ground.  
  
“I'm not coming back, Tilly,” I say softly. She starts to say something in protest but I shake my head. “No, I _can't_ come back. Johanna has to. I'm going in there so I can make sure she comes out. She's going to go home and marry my brother and they're going to live happily together. I'm not coming back.”  
  
Tilly looks as if she might cry but she takes a deep breath to steady herself. “I know,” she whispers, brushing down the fur on my coat. “But I want you to say you'll come back, just for me. Even though I know you're not, I want to hear it. Okay?”  
  
My chest hurts but I force another smile. “I'm coming back.”  
  
She smiles sadly and nods her head swiftly. “There. Good.”  
  
I open my mouth to say something else but close it, choosing my words carefully.  
  
“Tilly, there's something I want you to do for me,” I whisper softly, stepping closer to her so I can speak as quietly as possible. I have no idea who might be listening.  
  
“My Avox,” I say, catching Tilly's full attention. “I need you to make sure she goes home with Johanna when I get her out. She's only 13 and she deserves to live again. You helped Bosh get out, can't you help Juliet? Please... I care about her. This is my last request, just make sure she's safe.”  
  
Tilly's eyes dart around the room, as if looking for anyone who might be listening in.  
  
“I'll do my best,” she breathes back, her eyes landing on me.  
  
I jerk my head in a single nod, knowing that is the best she can promise me.  
  
 _30 seconds to launch_  
  
I swallow hard when I hear the sound of the woman over the PA system. Tilly hurriedly pushes me towards the launch tube. “Now remember everything that your mentors told you,” she says quickly, giving my clothes another once over as soon as I'm standing on the platform. I can hear the woman counting down, my heart pounding louder with every second that ticks by. “Don't stray from the plan. You know what to do. Don't worry about where Johanna is, she's a smart girl and she'll be able to get herself, Rachael and Cod away without getting into danger. You do your part, she'll do hers.”  
  
She steps back as the tube starts to close. I press my hands against the glass and try not to hyperventilate. “Thank you,” I say even though I know she can't hear me. She nods anyways and I know she understands.  
  
 _25... 24... 23... 22... 21..._  
  
My platform starts to rise. I can feel my heart trying to strangle me but I push down the urge to throw up and force myself to relax. I close my eyes, only opening them when I feel a sharp, dagger-like wind whipping across my cheek. I suck in a gasp of the frozen air and stare around, horror-struck, at the white winter wonderland that surrounds me. I have no idea what I was expecting, but it wasn't this.  
  
There was a forest about 5 yards away from where I stood in a full circle around the cornucopia. It was a thick, pine forest and I could never have wished for anything better. I'm completely in my element.  
  
But then I look down. My heart is suddenly back in my throat.  
  
No way. The cornucopia and all the tributes are in the middle of a frozen lake.


End file.
